Nothing Really..

I'm so sore. Yesterday Jordan didn't want to come with me to the koa. So I did it 3 times. 6 miles and I sure can feel it. It probably would have been great on the weight loss, but I was so hungry I had real food. Today is going to be just a quick work out on the tred mil. I have tons to do . We are leaving for my mom's early tomorrow. The plan is to follow Jeff, cause he has a load going up that way. Then we will leave the truck in the Muti-chem yard and then drive to mom's together. Its what we did at Christmas and it worked perfectly. So yall won't hear from me until Monday. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Mandy's test results.

This morning Mandy got her results back, and its not good. She has cancer. Right now its still contained it hasn't spread. They are going to wait until July to test her again, because the doctors said sometimes when your pregnant your body will take care of the cancer. If it comes back that she still has cancer and it is still contained she will continue on with her pregnancy. The baby is due in September.  If it comes back that it is spreading they will take the baby and begin treatment on Mandy. The results came back severe, so my thinking is. If its severe wouldn't it spread and also what about the baby, the cancer could go to the baby. Please pray for her !

Thank you !

I just wanted to tell all of you Thank you so much for all your comments yesterday. Yall really put my heart at ease. I really don't have anything new to write about. Yesterday was pretty boring. Today is going to be pretty boring. I am trying to get the umph to do my yoga dvd this morning before I go to the koa. I have been walk/run out there now for a little over a month and I still can't run the whole thing. The hills still kick my ass. I am thinking about adding another lap around on the days Jordan doesn't come with me. That would make it 6 miles. Yesterday I went by myself but I went so late in the day it was to hot to do it 3 times. I need to get back into my strength training, cause muscle eats fat. We are going to my mom's this Friday, can't wait. I haven't seen her since Christmas. Tomorrow I'm gonna clean house and Thursday I'm gonna keep Jeff's truck so I can clean it up . We are taking it to my mom's cause Jeff is bringing wood for the grill. He is going to cook ribs and chicken on Saturday. I live such an exciting life :)

Just mad at myself..

Easter was great, Jeff's brisket was a big hit. Everyone loved it. We really had a nice time. Before we left to go to my aunts house, Jeff and I sat out side and drank our coffee and talked about our child hood Easter experiences. Mine were better than his. Then I got really sad, cause I realized our boys never had a big Easter whoop to do like I did. I feel like they got cheated some how. Cole assured me that it was fine. Then on the wasy to my aunts house I asked Jordan if he knew what Easter really meant, and he didn't know. I laughed at how God's going to punish us for not teaching him, but deep down I'm so mad at myself. How could I have failed like this. I am always talking about God, watching church on tv, praying , asking Jordan to pray . I have been stupid. I honestly felt like Jordan knew more about Christ than he actually does. So this morning I'm getting the bible and we are going to start talking. Judgement day is coming and I don't want this hanging over me. Then we get to my aunts house and we are eating. And I tell my aunt about Jordan not knowing what Easter really is about. Then we start talking about the rapture, then somehow it moves onto when we get raptured out of here that our animals will be left behind because they have no soul. She said it says so in the bible. This truely breaks my heart. I'm crying as I write this. I know I should be more worried about loved ones that don't know Christ and I am , but I love my dogs like they are my children. Why would God leave them like that. I just always thought that when the rapture comes if you had animals they would be taken care of not left to die of starvation and feel abandon. Tia on the way home we drove by the dam, cause I wanted to show Jordan. You can't walk the dam . Its got a fence and a locked gate in front of the stairs. Unless there is some other place you start from that I don't know about. Let me know if thats the case.

Still swolen..

Yesterday was so much fun. Jeff and I went to go see the movie I have been waiting to see. And it was fantastic. Rob was Hot and Sexy and Gorgious and Lovely. It really was a good movie. I want to go see it again and I want the dvd as soon as it comes out. Jeff even made a comment on how different Rob looked in this movie instead of the Twilight movies. Maybe now he understands what I see in this guy. Then we did some running around, then when we got home I had two baileys and coke. Messed around on the computer while Jeff cleaned his gun. Then we went to Applebee's for my step-moms b-day. It was a lot of fun. Jeff and I split an appitizer sampler so I did okay on the food part, but where I screwed up was ordering those two margaritta's. By the time I got home my feet and hands were so puffy they looked swollen. Seriously my feet looked so funny. I guess my body went into sodium shock since we have just about stopped using salt. Today not much going on. I need to clean and do laundry YUK!

Movie day!

Yea ! I'm so excited to see this movie. We are going to go to the early movie because we have a birthday dinner to go to later to night. Thats okay I like the early movies, sometimes we have the whole theater to ourselves. Now on to some complaining, so if your not in the mood to here some whinning stop reading now........... I was having a sexual meltdown. Tuesday when I didn't go to zumba I was really wanting some lovin from my man, but he wanted the computer instead. So then Wed. he didn't get to come home. By Thurs. I'm really wanting him. So I get dressed in the outfit that I sent you Laura. I was hoping I looked some what appealing. When he got home about 5 I got a peck and that was it. Oh he did say I looked nice. NICE ! Was not what I was shooting for. He did hang out with me for a couple of hours watching tv. No lovin. Then moved on to the computer for the rest of the evening. So of course I go into my deep hole thinking I'm still too fat for him to find me sexy... On a good note he must have had a really good dream, cause this morning he was wanting some lovin. Hey I will take it.

No zumba..

I am taking a break from zumba. I have been doing it for 5 months and even though they change it up all the time, I'm just bored with it. Maybe I will start back up in May. I haven't done my yoga in a couple of weeks either, bored with it as well. I know I need to do some strength training and ab work, but just bored with all my dvds. So I guess by now you can see that I'm just plan old bored. I haven't lost anymore weight since Tues. haven't gained any , but still I was hoping to at least lose 1 more pound by Fri. I really like the waiste trimmer belt. It helps me to remember to hold in my stomach while I'm walking. It does get pretty wet so that makes me feel like I'm doing something good.I am going to get out and about today. I have to go to the groc. store and I want to go by the movie theater and see if they are selling tickets yet for my movie tomorrow. Mandy went in for her biopsy yesterday and they told her she has the hpv virus and they will get her number results back next week. Doctor told her that if the numbers are low than her body should take care of the hpv virus by itself, but if the numbers are high they will have to wait untill the baby is born to do any treatment.

Not what I had in mind.

Yesterday was a pretty lazy day. I did some laundry, dishes, and decided to lay out again. I like laying out Jordan doesn't bother me. Its kinda like my quiet time. He has been swimming , but these past two days that I have been laying out he hasn't swam. Jeff got home early about 5. I decided not to go to zumba so we could hang out and visit. Stupid me I forgot about his girlfriend (the computer) I should have went to zumba. He got on the computer at 6 and didn't get off till 10. I'm going to zumba tonight, I don't care if he is home. Me and him seem to be going through a rutt. No flurting, no loving , unless you count when he says hey you want to have sex. Usually when I'm getting dressed and he see's me naked. I miss affection. I try to give him affection , but the computer chair is too small for us both to fit. Sorry I'm complaining I will stop. Jeff is going to have a 3 day weekend this weekend, so I hope we can spend some quality time together. He is suppose to cook a brisket for Sunday. Don't know how well its going to turn out since they have the burn ban. He has never cooked a brisket on the propane grill before.

Yea !

I am so happy, I weighed this morning and I am back down. My weekend and period weight is off and I am back at my new lower weight. So maybe since its Tues. I can lose another pound by the Fri. Of course its Easter weekend and Jeff is cooking a brisket for my aunts Easter dinner. Gonna be lots of food. I'm gonna have to be careful. I hate that I love food so much. I finially used my waiste trimmer belt walking yesterday. When I took it off it was gross. All wet. I hung out on the line to air out. Maybe I'm suppose to wear a shirt under it. I will try that today. Don't know if Jordan is going to continue to walk with me. I'm just tired of the whinning. He has gotten to where he complains so much. It is taking us sometimes an extra 20 minutes to do the KOA twice. I don't even break a sweat. Tia thanks for the idea of the dam, I haven't thought about that. I got some sun yesterday it was so nice to lay out. I think I might do it again today.

So many pictures..

I have been glued to the tv and the internet since yesterday's Water for Elephants premier. Yes yall know this I am obsessed with Robert. He looked amazing on the red carpet last night. Then this morning he was on the today show and Regis and Kelly. And on Wed. he will be on Ellen and Jimmy Kimmel. All these pictures are pooring in, and even one video of him and Kristen kissing. Its so cute, that they are finially coming out as a couple. Why she wouldn't be spreading the news is beyond me, if he was my guy I would have told along time ago. Any way I am just filled with all these butterflies seeing all this stuff about him. Jeff will be off Friday because of it being a holiday and we are going to go see the movie. I'm so excited its finially time. Yes I'm a dork! We only did one time around today at the koa, Jordan was not good. I think I might go without him. I know he needs the exercise too , but honestly now that he's walking it, I'm not really get much of a workout. I'm gonna go lay out now and dream that I'm this hot sexy , skinny girl !

Dieting Sucks!

Okay I have been very bad this week. Not feeling good , not exercising, not eating right, period. All of which made me gain 3 pounds. I'm hoping some of its water retintion from the shit I ate yesterday. I feel very swollen so maybe I'm right about the retintion. I am feeling better now so no excuses, back on my diet. It seems like I do this to myself. Everytime I lose a significant amount of weight I sabbatage myself by gaining it back. So I'm going to work really hard these next two weeks and not cheat. I really want to be down a few pounds when I see my mom. I was only hoping for 5 pounds, but now it seems I have to lose what I just gained. Cole came home yesterday after work without Sam. First time since he has been staying out there. We are finially going to get to meet her parents on May 7th.  Sam is really worried about us meeting her mom, cause of all the shit thats been going on. I can't believe that they have been dating for a year now and we are just now meeting her folks. Oh well. No plans today just chilling.

What a way to wake up..

I'm usually up around 8 every morning , but this morning I was woken up by text messages. First off it scared me, cause no one text's me at 8 in the morning. So once I got my barrings I started reading the text. They were coming in faster than I could read them. They were from Nikki looking for Temple. Apparently she didn't show up to get the girls last night from Bill and isn't answering her phone. She is off with some ex-con drugie named Justin. She supposidly is having a mental breakdown and the doctors want to put her in Rivercrest. Bill said she called him from a private number but wouldn't tell him where she is at.  What a mess. If all this is true she is just spirling down a deep hole. She has always been suicidal so thats why Nikki is so worried. Me too now, but what can you do Temple wont let you in to help. Bill and Temple both tell so many lies to make the other one look bad, I'm just hoping this is a lie. Temple has come very close before to killing herself and if she is on drugs she might very well do it. Okay moving on, I'm so ready for a roadtrip. I tried to persuade Jeff this morning , but all he said was have you seen gas prices. And he's right its too high just to go ride around the country . Plus with all these wild fires everywhere it probably isn't safe. I sure hope it rains soon. The fires are pretty scary. Not to mention stinking up the air.

Stupid, Stupid, Period!

Ugh! I have eaten and eaten so much junk I think I might explode. This monthly is bad. I want mexican food so bad. So yesterday Jordan and I go to Rosas I tried to be good I got a nacho salad. I didn't eat all the chips , thats being good right? Then for dinner I had ham and cheese and nuts. I went way over my calorie count for the day. And I still have the mexican food craving. Another thing is I have had at least one Bailey's and coke everyday. I don't know why I just want one. Maybe cause I'm so fricken bored. I am not gonna weigh untill Monday. I hope I can be strong over the weekend. Well Jeff has decided to stay at Multi-Chem. Knowing what you make from week to week and having weekends and holidays off won the battle. Thank God!!! Jordan is doing really good out at the KOA , he is walking the 4 miles now. It takes us longer cause I don't want to get to far in front of him. Today I'm going to let him get way in front of me. I'm wanting to do another lap around, but Jordan doesn't. I really want to lose 5 pounds before I see my mom in two weeks. I guess I need to stop eating crap and drinking then huh? I bought a corset thingy and a waiste trimmer belt for walking yesterday at WalMart. I don't think this corset thing is the right size. And i bought one that is a solid piece so I have to shimmy in it. It was a little tight which I know its suppose to be, but when I went to sit down it kinda rolled in weird ways. I don't know maybe I should have got one with the eye hooks. Any way I'm gonna wear the trimmer belt today when I walk and then after the shower I'm gonna try the corset again. Okay on to some drama; Cole received a letter from the county jail yesterday. It was from some guy named Richard. I'm like huh, the only person we know in jail is Doug. So being the nosey mother that I am I opened it. Yep from Doug. In the letter he tells Cole that this Richard knows him from school and so he has been telling Doug all about Cole from school. Doug also said he was afraid I wouldn't let him have the letter if I knew it was from him thats why it said it was from Richard. Blah Blah... so anyway he proceeds to tell Cole that he is sorry for not being the dad he should have been and reallly hopes that Cole would write him back or come to see him so that they could salvage some kind of relationship. Blah Blah again...Told Cole how he wished he would have had the money to pay, but just doesn't. Thats about it just pure poor Doug shit. So I read the letter to Cole . He is undecided if he wants anything to do with him. I think Cole should call Doyle( he is the only family that has ever had anything to do with Cole) and tell Doyle to tell Doug that action speaks louder than words. When he gets out of jail if he wants to have any kind of relationship with him then call him. I feel this way cause Doug has always pulled on Cole's heart strings everytime he got busted for non child support payments. Then after a few days Doug would disapear again. So if he wants to know Cole he needs to work at it. I haven't told Cole how I feel yet , cause I really wanted to know how he feels about all this. I know he must be angry inside. That whole family has had nothing to do with him in years. And they all know he has his own phone , so they never even had to call me to talk to him. For Cole's sake I really hope he doesn't have anything to do with any of them.. Pieces of shit that just through him away. Even when Doug lived in the same town as us and lived right down the street from us , he never called Cole or came by. If he saw Cole outside he would just wave and keep driving. Who does that to there own flesh and blood. Scum pure Scum!!!

Better some what..

I didn't go to zumba Tues. and then I didn't walk yesterday or go to zumba Wed. So now I got the don't want to exercise blues. I know once I began I will feel better, its just getting the umph to do it. I didn't go to the store yesterday, so today I have to go. I can not put it off.  So here is something weird . Temple and I have started talking just a bit. Maybe once every 2-3 weeks. Mostly texting. Well I was having a really lonely day last week and called her. She didn't answer so I left a voice mail. Two days later she sent me text just saying not avoiding you just very busy call you when I get a chance. Okay fine I can understand that. Then Saturday I ran into Nikki. She is the wife of Art who is Temple's baby daddy. She and Temple are still friends. Yes she knows the truth, but only thinks it happened once while they were all drunk. Thats a lie it happened alot and sobber at motels. Anyway back to Nikki. She told me that Temple was moving out of her apartment and moving in with a girl that lives right across the street from Bill and Temple's house. So strange. Temple tells me how Bill is stalking her and now she is moving across the street from him. Well now Bill calls me Sunday night to see if I can keep the kids Monday. I imediatly make up an excuse. Not doing that again. So I call Temple Monday to find out why Bill needed a babysitter cause normally Temple keeps the kids. Well again she didn't answer. Then on Tues. night she sent me the exact same text that she sent last week. Thats it. Still haven't heard from her. Part of me just wants to quit trying and never call her again. then there's that part of me that loves her and misses her. At least the old her. I don't know this new Temple. Now onto something new. Jeff came home and said that Stripes ( Town & Country) are hiring again and he is thinking about applying. He already talked to the guy doing the hiring and he told Jeff to submitt an app. Jeff has kept it good with all them over there, so if he decides to go for it he would probably get the job. On an upside of him getting the job he would be home every single day. He could make more money. On the downside its commision only so if its a slow week with gas it could be a small check. We lived this way for two years not knowing from week to week what his paycheck was. Also its a 5 on 3 off schedule. Which means no holidays or weekends off  unless it falls on your days off. Also his hours are either 3am to when done , or 3pm till when done. Before when he worked there we liked the 3pm till done shift. Cause with the 3am shift he went to bed at like 7 every night.With Jordan being homeschooled the schedule wouldn't be a problem cause we could always do things on his days off no matter what days they were. We would see Jeff more and he wouldn't be working 70 hours in a week, so he would be less grumpy. Its just the scary thought of those checks that really hold me back. He is on salary now and I like that. When he worked there before his checks ranged from $500-$1200 a week. When its good its great, but when its small its oh shit what we gonna do now! We actually have less bills now so I know I could make it work its just scary..The guys he's been talking to over there said right now its really great. There bringing in $1700 a week.

Still ....

Tia , your right I did it wrong. Thanks for catching that for me. I'm so bloated right now I think I will wait until next week to measure. I don't feel good at all. I don't know what the deal is. I feel very drained, no energy. I ate a bowl of cereal last night for dinner thinking maybe my body needs carbs, but I didn't want to eat anything heavy. Now to top it off I started and am cramping like a mad dog. Thats one thing I miss about being on the pill . I never had cramps. Now just about every other month is bad. Maybe my iron is low. I take a multi vit. everyday plus tons of other vitm. Who knows. Okay enough with that.. Jeff came home last night and hopefully tonight. If I don't feel better I'm not going to Zumba again. Which will suck . We are planning a trip to go visit my mom. I haven't seen her since Christmas. I was really hoping to have lost 5 pounds before we go. Jeff is going to cook for everyone. He really knows his way around a grill. He wants to open up a bbq place someday. I really want to lay out again. I hope the warmth comes back soon. Yuk , just realized I have to go to the store today. Stupid Period...

Don't feel good ..

I don't know whats wrong with me. I was feeling great until our second trip around the KOA. All of a sudden I got so weak and my stomach kinda hurts, but not real bad. More like I have no energy. I came home and had lunch . I ate good thinking that was the problem. I had two 2 oz hamburger patties that I grilled and a plate full of veggies and hummus. But even after I ate I still don't feel right. I drink plenty of water so I know thats not the problem. I'm not going to zumba tonight which I'm feeling guilty about, but I honestly don't think I could handle it. I hope I feel better tomorrow. This afternoon while laying on the couch I was watching The Doctors (love that show) it was a re-run that I hadn't seen. Any ways The cute doc. I don't know his name . Anyway he wrote a book called the flat belly something. He was telling tricks to get a flat belly. But one thing he said was to take your height and convert it into inches then divide by two. That is the size your belly should be. Oh and he measured right around the belly button area. So now I'm stressed cause I need to lose like 6 inches to be normal. UGH!!!

A girlie day..

Sam stayed the weekend with us and she and I pretty much hung out together. I think she really misses her mom and I really miss girl talk. Her mom left them a couple of months ago to go be with her boyfriend.. Now she is back in San Angelo and the boyfriend is suppose to move down here. Sam hasn't gone to see her, and her mom hasn't come to see Sam.. Very sad deal. I really hate it when Mom's don't want to be mom's anymore. Not sure when the divorce is finial.  Its the same thing that Mandy did.. Anyway we had a great day. I about killed her at the KOA, then we came back to the house and she swam with Jordan for a bit. Then we laid out. It was nice to get some sun. Cole bought ribeye's and him and Jeff cooked them. I did really good, I only ate meat and salad. I wanted a baked potatoe , but I only made 4 , so I wouldn't be tempted. I have been having age versus clothes issues and this 17 year old girl made me feel so much better about myself. I know she probably is just sucking up to her boyfriends mom, but I will take it. No not really I feel she really does like me. And I adore her. If they don't get married I will be heart broken. She's on tumblr now too, I'm her only follower so Laura if you feel up to it follow her please. I did something yesterday that I have only done at LA. I told everyone how much I weighed. First I had them guess honestly just to see how they see me. That was really scary, but turned out they see me weighing less than what I really do. So that made me feel good. Jeff didn't play our game. He absolutely refused to guess my weight. I even told him if he guessed high I would not be upset with him, but I am thinking he was thinking keep mouth shut no matter what just in case. The reason I ended up telling them my weight is because I told them I want to lose 20 pounds , maybe more depending on how I feel when I reach 20. They all came un-glued and said that 20 was too much that 10 would be enough. So I wanted to know how much they thought I weighed. Then when they were wrong I had to tell them my weight. Jeff got mad at me when he found out that I was weighing everyday again. Him and Sam said they were going to take my scale away and hide it. Luckly they didn't, cause I weighed this morning and Thank God I'm back down a pound from Saturday. Still not what I was Friday, but I will be .. I feel that once I get to my goal weight it will be easy to maintain, cause I work at all week and then not on weekend. Thats how I have weighed the same weight for two years now.

It was good...

Had a very nice day yesterday. Jeff came and walked/run with us at the KOA. We only did it once, but he even ran. Then Sam and I went shopping. I was determined to get new clothes. But of course when you have the money and time to shop , you never can find anything. So I got one thing and that was it. I was so dissapointed. I want new clothes damit.......Then she came with me to the grocery store. It was nice having a female around. Jeff cooked chicken on the grill. It was yummy. I only had one Bailey's and coke. So thats good, but I had chips and dip while waiting on the chicken. I was hungry from the shopping. Today Cole might buy us ribeye's to cook on the grill. Not sure though, he might have been kidding. I am about to start so I am having all these food cravings. I'm trying to be good, but it sure is hard.

That was a seriously bad mistake :(

Had a great day with Jordan yesterday. First we went and ate. I was so proud of myself. I ate just a tablespoon of rice , 2 cheese puffs, and 1 and half egg roles. Usually I can eat more of those . They are my favorite. I ate very little chicken and veggies since I ate so many of the other things. I was feeling pretty good. THEN - we went to Target to kill a little time. we were in the check out isle and just out of the blue chocolate craving struck me. So I bought us candy for the movies. So now I am having this battle in my head, you not what I'm talking about. So now I'm very full. After the movies we did a bit of shopping. I want new clothes so bad. Didn't buy anything yet. Did try some things on, but my taste and there size didn't match with my body. We get home and I'm doing okay. I have told myself no food. I have splurged enough. Just watching tv and chatting with Jeff. When the doorbell rings. Its our neighbor(love her) They are doing a community delevery of shhh ( Laura skip this part) pizza. So they give us this homemade very large pizza. It looked so good. I ate 2 slices. Bad Bad Bad girl. I know I'm so weak around food. I really have no control. Well I feel bloated and miserable today. Not to metion the 2 pounds I gained in one day. I know its water retintion from the salt, but that just sucks. I'm going to try really hard to good today. I already am having a battle with myself, cause we will probably cook on the grill.  I am planning on laying out and getting some sun. Which for some reason in my head all those must include beer. Maybe my boredom is turning me into a drunk. Jordan said he wants friends now , so he told me to go to the bar and meet people. Where does this kid get his info.

Fish

I never wanted this huge ass fish aquarim or the responsibity of it.  This is Jeff and Jordan's deal. It just pisses me off to see any kind of animal suffering. this tank is gross. He already had one sucker fish die. this week that I had to get out. Why we don't know. Now the big one , and I do mean big one. he is probably 10 inches long. is acting all crazy. As I sit here he has tried to jump out twice, of course he is hitting the glass lid, but very strange. There is poop and gook floating around in the water. Jeff has no excuse but pure laziness for this tank to look the way it does. I would take a picture , but to turn the light on makes my heart hurt. Okay , Sorry , moving on.. Last night I was bored so I had a couple of drinks, no supper. I was hoping that not eating and drinking instead would keep the scale down. Nope I gained a fricken pound. A whole pound. Crazy.. and today Jordan and I are going to go have our fun day. So he picked chinese food.. which I love. Even if I don't eat the rice the sodium is going to make me swell so much. To be honest I really don't get much rice anyway.. Not a big fan of any kind of rice.. Its the egg roles and the cheese puffs that are my weakness. We are going to go see a movie today too. I don't know if its gonna be Hop or Rango. But one of them. I want to go shopping so bad. I want new summer clothes. All of my stuff doesn't fit , or it looks like shit, or I'm just tired of wearing it..I want to clean out my closet , but I'm afraid I wouldn't have any clothes left to wear.  *****Venting Alert ******            Jeff can be such a prude if it doesn't benefit him.. When I told him that Tia found out that Lamberts was a BBQ place with live music, he just wrinkled his nois and said "well my buddy Mark(which used to be a cop in Austin) said Austin is not a good place to be going out in right now its crazy on 6th street" So I then told him its not on 6th street. And 6th street has always been crazy, thats why people go there. So I guess since he doesn't want to go we won't be going. He gets his way all the time, sometimes when its something I really want and he does this shit it really pisses me off. What I need is a girls weekend!!

Whats up with Jordan?

Jordan is really a funny kid. He is always doing or saying something that makes you laugh. In school if he wasn't so shy he would have been the class clown. Its just here lately he has been making commets about me that are not true. I just don't know where he would come up with what he is saying. He's always laughing when he says it, so I think he thinks its funny. He will be cutting up with us and just bamb out of the blue tell Jeff that I have boyfriends come over all the time. Jeff knows its not true, but it really bothers me that my son finds this humor funny. I think maybe he gets the idea from Jeff, cause I always ask him if he is going to be home . Jeff always says why your boyfriend coming over. So maybe thats where Jordan is getting it. I don't like it. The next time he says it, I'm going to let him know how disturbing that is.

A new number..

I'm so excited, I am at a weight that I haven't been since LA. I have to say it , I almost cried. I just hope the scale keeps going down. If I had known that cutting out starches would have made this big a difference I would have done it along time ago. Or is it my pills finially kicking in. I don't care what it is as long as it keeps working. I put a new color on my hair yesterday . Instead of natural blonde , I went with ash blonde. I kinda like it. Its not so yellow more white. Must not be as much of a change as I see, cause no one noticed the difference. Either that or its really bad and no one wants to say anything. Oh well I like it thats all that matters Right?  Jordan decided to try and walk/run the KOA yesterday. It took us an extra 20 minutes. I didn't enjoy it. He would get so far back from me that I would have to stop and wait on him. Don't know what he plans on doing today. He has lost 4 pounds since we started walking out there.

The scale is moving down....

Okay so I said I wasn't going to weigh myself anymore, but I just can't help it. I am weighing everyday and it seems to help me to be cautious of the rest of my day. I am losing wieght its not much , but its coming off. I'm losing like 2 to 4 ounces . Hopefully it will continue.. I still haven't cheated on the starches.  Suprisingly the only thing I really miss is oatmill. Yes I like oatmill. Its suppose to be warmer today so we are going to the KOA. Cole got his first check yesterday, he was so excited . He has never made so much money before. He is really liking it. He learned to use  power tools and drive a fork lift . This job is really growing him up.  Not much else to talk about. Pretty boring day..

Oh No not the wind again..

Sunday turned out to be pretty lazy. Jordan and I went for our walk/run and I'm so proud of myself. I was able to do the whole 2miles in 20 minutes. Usually it takes 30 min. So I am running more. Jordan is a super big help. He keeps pushing me, telling me you can do it just a little farther. He has started giving me grades for each length that I run. So funny.. He can be quiet charming at times..Then I came home and did yoga. I haven't done it all week, and boy could I tell. It was like doing it for the first time. I really think the yoga is helping my abs. Today it is so crapy out, I think I will exercise here at the house. I get my haircut today and I'm gonna talk to her about putting color in my hair. Cole came home yesterday about 10 and stayed till about 10pm. It was a nice visit. He is growing up so much with this new job. We watched the Country music awards show last night , and Rob looked so handsome. He is so dorky its cute..Today on my favorite Rob blog it had all the press junkets for Water for Elephants. I love his accent. Oh how the Brittish make me swoon... Or maybe its just one Brit...

I must be stronger...

Saturday was such a nice day. Jeff grilled baby back ribs, I cooked beans and potatoe salad. We sat outside and visited. Something we haven't done in a very long time. He had a few beers I had a few Bailey's & Coke. It was really good. The only thing that would have made it better would to have had friends over to join us. I miss that so much. I weighed this morning to see how much damage I did with all the drinking and I'm very pleased I only gained half a pound. So today I am cutting back to 1200 cal. Hopefully this will help. Cole did not come home yesterday and he didn't even call. I am so hurt that he didn't call to tell me that he wasn't coming. I really don't know if I should say anything to him. He is staying with Sam now. Maybe it just feels like he still lives here cause his stuff is still here. He is so excited about his first check. They get paid Monday and he said it should be about $1200. Not bad for an 18 year old. Jeff has to go to Sonora today to get his load for tomorrow, so he said he couldn't exercise. I knew he would have excuses. Oh well . 

Just another, same old same old

Well Jeff didn't want to go this morning to walk, maybe I can talk him into later. He wants to go to the grocery store early. He has to buy food for the week , and we are going to pick up some ribs for him to cook on the grill. Its gonna be supper hot today.. YEA ! Cole called last night , he said he is loving his job this week . He got to work with the explosion team. So he got to blow land up all week. He said it was so cool. He's only suppose to work till noon today, so he is coming to town to visit. He isn't gonna stay the night though cause he is having guys night out with Sam's dad and brother -in-law. He is there disignated driver. Sam's mom left them about 2 months ago, and her dad needs to get out of the house and have some fun. I understand he needs to get out of the house, but I am sad Cole won't be here for the night. He said he will come back and visit tomorrow, cause he has to come to town and buy groceries anyway.  We will see..Well I blew it last night.. I had two bailey's and coke, some almonds, and hand full of cheese popcorn. I only had 230 cal. left for the day when I had all that. So I know I went over. Gonna try really hard to do better today. Its gonna be hard cause something in my brain thinks that since its hot out, the grill is going , you must have beer :)

OMG !!

So yall know how I have this huge crush on Rob, well I went absolutely weak in the knee's yesterday. I felt like a stupid teenager. I was all giddy and had butterflies in my stomach. Those sex scenes from the honey moon on the Breaking Dawn set were HOT ! Summit claims it was a leak, so all photos have been removed, but I'm sure there are still some floating out there. This man is so beautiful. Okay on to a more mature (boring) subject. I didn't cheat with starches all week and I weighed this morning and have lost 1 pound. 1 fricken pound. I was so dissapointed. I'll take it, but I was hoping for more. Jeff and I talked about how on the weekends we eat really bad. I told him I think thats what is killing my weightloss. I do so good all week long then ruin it on the weekend. So we are both going to try to be good. He said he wants to lose weight too. We will see about that. You have to exercise to lose weight and he's not much of a exerciser. Jordan has been a big baby all week out at the KOA. He was so good last week , minus the first day. I think he's bored with it already. I'm not. I did run more of it at one time yesterday. Still can't run up the hills, but I did push Jordan on his scooter up one hill. I thought I was going to die.