Jordan's day

Today after I exercise and shower , I am taking Jordan out to eat and then to do something fun. He hasn't decided on the fun part yet.. There's just so much to choose from he's at a loss...HAAAA!!!
Since I will be out I will go ahead and get cash and gas for our weekend. We will be leaving friday morning, but I don't know what time yet. When we get back from mom's I will order Jordan's next grade level. Hopefully putting him at a start date of Sep. 19th. That gives him 6 weeks off for summer. A little longer than I planned, but well needed..

I found out Doug got out of jail July 27th, but I still haven't received any child support. I called the att. gen. to find out protocol and they told me if I don't have a payment by Sep. 1st to call them back. Then what , do they arrest him again or do we start all over with fricken late letters. Well you know what they have to send out 3 late letters before they can arrest him again.  The man can play the system so well.

Cole spent the night over at Sam's last night.. Breaks my heart to see him bend to her like this. I mean come on either you love him and what him or let him go!!!

The talk

When Cole got home last night , Jeff and I had a very adult conversation with him. I told him how it stresses me out waiting to see if he was coming home. I can't sleep unless I know he is safe..So we put the ball in his court. We either set a curphew , or he must keep me posted on his activities, or he must find his own place. The reason for keeping us posted is because what if something did happen and we needed him. How would we know where to look. Like I said, when he left saturday morning at 10:30 I had no contact with him until I sent him a text at 2 sunday morning. Thats just rude to me in my eyes anyway. So this weekend we will be out of town so he obviously won't have a curphew and once I talk to him when he gets off work I wont talk to him again till the next night.. We have in the past talked about him getting his own place because when we sell the house he won't be moving with us right away. So I don't know what he will do. I know he's trying to save up his money to buy a new truck, so I don't know if he will move out right now. I never want my boys to feel like they can't live with me. When I went to live with my dad at 16 (first mistake of my life) my mom was so hurt that she said I could never come back. So when living at my dad's was nightmare, I ran away and moved in with Doug. If I could have moved back in with my mom I think I would have been better off. So as long as my boys are working hard or going to school they will always have a home with me. Now if they want to be bumbs they can go live in a tent at the lake. Cause I will not support them. I believe when the time is right they both will want there own space and then move out. Jeff didn't even move out of his mom's house untill we got married. He worked out of town alot and stayed in hotels, but he never had his own place.

Brendy called and said the people from Monday morning really liked the house , but only could go FHA.. Then why the hell did they even bother, cause we are not going FHA. Not only would our house not pass FHA , but we are barely going to walk away with enough money to move on I am sure as heck not paying $1200 towards buyers closings. Brendy was pretty upset that there realitor even bothered with this house. She then told me a man called her friday looking to buy a house for his 3 college girls. He seems interested and when he gets back to town she will show it to him.
Someone buy our house already!!!!!!!

Leah's blog

Leah , I'm so happy you have decided to blog. I feel like I will get to know you better. I am still having trouble with posting a comment on your blog. Also I don't know if its just your setting or mine, but I don't click on your tag name like I do everyone else's I have to click on the link that you sent that invited me to your blog. So weird.. I too enjoy watching all those live web cams. I'm a people watcher. People do odd things and its really funny to watch.

Not much went on yesterday. Those people came in the morning to look, but thats it.. I'm really started to get discouraged. I know I said no big deal if the house sells or not, but deep down inside I want this fricken house to sale!!!!!  I know its the kitchen that keeps it from selling, but hey that would be about $5000 to fix it up isn't gonna happen unless we are staying put. The kitchen really isn't all that bad its just lack of cabinets and the washer and dryer are in the kitchen. We didn't like the kitchen either when we bought the house, but it has so much potential and the rest of the house is fine. Especially now that the bathrooms have been remodeled. Oh well it is what it is..

I think its time for Cole to move out. I don't want him too, but I know it would be for the best. I am too much of a mother hen and maybe if he had his own place I would be able to let go of some of the anxiety I feel. I told yall about him leaving saturday morning , right.. well I sent him a text at 2 in the morning checking on him, cause we hadn't heard anything from him since 10:30 that morning. He said he was fine and that he was hanging with friends and be home later. Then at 4:30 he sent me a text telling me he wasn't coming home he was staying the night with friends. Then Sunday at noon I sent him a text letting him know the lookers were gone he could come home. No response , so I called him. I woke him up , but he said he would be home shortly. Never came home. At 2 I called him cause by now I'm thinking he's staying away because of our fight yesterday. He said no he's fine just hanging with friends be home later. He finially came home about 4:30. Told me about his day/night. He was with Sam and some other friends. Then he took a shower and left again by 5:15 to go swimming. At midnight last night he still wasn't home. So me being the mother hen that I am sent him a text that said this. Son I know your having fun with your friends , but you have work in the morning. Be responsible and come home. He sent back Mom I'm aware. I sent back , your still my baby and I worry about you. He never replied. I don't know what time he got in, but when Jeff left this morning at 4 Cole was home. And he must have got up in time because he was gone this morning..
I know I need to let him be an adult, but its hard he is still my baby... so thats why I think maybe he needs to find his own place. So we both could have peace.. What do yall think?

blog is strange

okay so what is going on with blogger today. I tried to leave a comment on Leah's blog and I don't know if it went through or not. It wasn't like the rest of ours. Then I tried to comment on Tia's blog and it wouldn't let me either. It keep asking how I wanted to log in, under what name..Weird..

Pancake Syrupe

We had a stupid family argument over pancake syrupe yesterday morning.. I don't know whats going on with this family. Lots of stress maybe. Saturday morning started off really really good if you know what I mean.. Then I got up and started a big breakfast ; smothered potatoes, bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes. Well I didn't notice that almost all the syrupe was gone so I asked Cole if he would run up to the store and pick us up a bottle. He had only been out of bed for maybe 20 minutes and he was just laying on the couch doing nothing. He told me no , he didn't want to go. So this upsets me because here I am making this big breakfast out of love for my family and he tells me no. So then I go and ask Jeff , he is on the computer and has already showered and dressed. He tells me no he doesn't want to go to ask Cole. So now I'm heart sick cause I do everything for everybody and no one wants to do this for me. It really makes me feel like I'm nothing..So Jeff and Cole get into a heated argument about Cole going to the store. Cole's excuse for not going is he's not hungry so he won't be eating. That still upsets me cause why does that matter if your eating or not I asked you to do something for me. It upsets me more that Jeff is all up in Cole's face about how disrespectful he is to me, but hey didn't he just tell me no too.. Anyway Jeff and Jordan in up going. Jordan went so Jeff wouldn't have to get out of the car. So when they get back Jeff tells Cole he can't have any of the syrupe. So then that was the last straw I blew up at everyone.. So fricken childish. So needless to say Cole didn't eat pancakes and we all ate in silence. Then Cole and I cleaned the kitchen. He took a shower and left and hasn't been home since. I cleaned the carpets, Jeff got on the computer, and Jordan played xbox. Then Jeff and I went to the movies. I'm still pretty heart sick about him telling me no. So it was not a very fun date!

So NOT the day

Yesterday night I went and helped Jeff get all his stuff out of his work truck so that today we could have our date. Then tomorrow he will go get new truck in Sonora and I will meet him back up there to unload into new stuff.. It took us about 3 and half hours to clean out his truck.. Then we just came home and crashed. Today Jeff and I went to the movies and saw The Help it is really really good.. No romance chick flick , but a reall good story. Then we went and ate at Olive Gardens and I stuffed myself. I already feel my feet swelling from the sodium.. Now I am having one drink then off to bed , cause we have a showing early in the morning and I have to sweep and mop and dust before they come. I cleaned the carpets today before we left for the movies so at least that is done. Next weekend since its a 3 day weekend we are going to go to my mom's for a visit. Can't believe its been since the fourth of July since I've seen her. I think Cole is hanging with Sam again, but he won't say anything to us about it. He is being very secrative about where he's going and what he's doing. He went to the ball game with her last night and has been gone all day today. Night ladies.

Chip

My boxer has been sick for awhile. he has allergies so I give him childrens bynadril when it gets bad. So last night I thought he was going to die, it was so bad the caughing and the throwing up. It wasn't his usual clear fleam it was green like snott.. I know yuk.. He was having an extremly tough time breathing. So I just knew this morning I would find him dead.  Sorry my emagination always gets the better of me. So I called the vet this morning and told him I think his allergies are worse and told him what happened last night. So they tell me to bring him in and let them check him out.. So I brought him in and they checked him out really good. Said his chest sounds great , so no pnumonia (mispelled) , but that his throat is closed up due to an upper respatory infection caused by his allergies and his caughing.. So they prescribed two medicenes one for the caugh and one for the infection. Once we get all this taken care of we can start him on allergie shots so he wont get sick anymore.. I asked the vet about all the druel that he has, cause it used to not be this bad and he said its do to his throat being closed up. It should go back to normal when he's well.. I'm so relieved, I truely thought something really bad was wrong with him. He has to be allergic to the misquete tree's cause when we lived on Harris he didn't have allergies..  So relieved and it didn't cost me an arm and leg to take him to the vet.. I did buy me Bailey's at Sams today and I really want a drink , but I have to wait. I am going to go help Jeff clean his truck out when he gets into town so he won't have to do it tomorrow and we can go on our date..

WTF!

I'm am so frustrated.. I have been very good all week no drinking, eating right and it was off to a great start with the weekend weight coming off so fast , but this morning I'm up to 155 , for no reason.. So I think I'm done if this is where my body wants to be then so be it.. I like the way I look (some what) I will continue to exercise  because it makes me feel better and I will continue to eat healthy, but thats it. So today I will go buy me some Bailey's and just enjoy life and not think about my weight.. We will see how long that last! I read in Tia's post where she ate chinese that sounds so yummy might have to have that for lunch...  Jeff is getting a brand new work truck today. He knew it was coming he just didn't know it would be here this weekend. So he has to transfer all his stuff over. Gonna be a pain, but worth it. We were going to have a date night tomorrow, but now we will have to see. He has to have his old truck ready for the new guy by Monday morning..Plus he will have to go to Sonora to get the new truck and his Monday load. He will be very busy all weekend. But on the plus side he will be training one of the new guys so he will be home every night next week.. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

hair

Got my haircut yesterday ,so today I'm putting on my color.. Extra Bleach Blonde, the color I have been using for awhile now.. Must have had my head up my ass , because here I am putting on the color and its just to thick and being a pain in the ass to come out of the bottle, so then it hit me.. Oh shit I forgot to add the shimmering stuff. So I run back in and put the stuff in the bottle. So now I'm like do I rinse out and begin again or just keep going. I opted for keep going.. Hope the hell that shimmering shit doesn't have anything to do with the coloring process..It did however make a huge difference in how easily it came out of the bottle.. I'm such a dork, I hope my hair turns out okay cause I don't look good in hats !

turned out just fine...Thank God

tired

I stayed up way too late last night reading..I'm re-reading The Hunger Games, such a good book.. Today I have stuff to do so I really need to get busy exercising instead of messing around on the computer.  I am down to 154.4 from weekend of splurging and drinking that got me up to 157. Not bad thats a pound of day off. I knew it was all the sodium and water retintion , I could feel it in my hands and feet..I have to go to my dads today between 11:30-1 and let his dogs out to go potty. He is out of town and this was the only time slot he couldn't find anyone to let them out.. I don't mind its just he has 5 dogs and they really don't know me, I hope they don't bite. Then I get my haircut at 3 , then a showing at 5. Looks like it will be hotdogs tonight for dindin..Cole went back to work today. He sure didn't want to go back.. That place said they would let him know in two days if he proceeds to the interview step. Even if he got the job it wouldn't begin until Sept. 20th or around there. I really don't see him liking that job either. Its like DCS. I wish he would go to school...Someone buy my house already!!!!

wish I was computer smart

I get so frustrated because there are things I want to do on my computer or phone and just don't know how. Like for instance how to delete blogs you know longer want to follow.. how do I stop? Sometimes I see some really sexy photos of my crush that I would love to have on my phone, but how do I put wallpapers from the computer to my phone... ugh!!!!  I have recently learned how to tweet pictures so I have been doing a lot of that..  I'm really having fun with tweeter, I'm up to 15 followers and have actually had comments with several.. Its funny cause one of them is from Indonesia and I had to go look it up. Some school teacher I am.. Haa!     Cole has taken off yesterday and today looking for a new job.. He goes in for a skills test today at some place on sherwoodway..He also has been talking to Sam again, they even had lunch and went shopping yesterday. He had to buy an outfit for today, bussiness atire.. He told me he feels like his job is why he lost her, because he worked so many hours and they never did anything.. I feel like that could put a strain on there relationship, but if she really loved him she could have talked to him about it instead of dumping him.. I mean look at me and Tia , we don't dump our guys cause we don't see them everyday...Hell I like my guy better cause I get to miss him.. I guess some people are just more clingy.. Look at Mandy she has to have her guy with her 24/7 .. Yuk... Still debating on going to see that guy play in Dallas next month. I really need to buy the ticket, but I just don't know who to go with. I wish it wasn't on a Wednesday night then maybe one of yall could go with me.. I have a friend that lives up there that looked up the place and she said its really nice , a bit pricey on the drinks because they don't serve food, but that it got great reviews. Her another friend were gonna try go check it out in person and let me know..She could even possible go with me , except that its on a school night.. She has kids and is a school teacher..I really want to hear this guy play.. In my life I have only been 3 times to hear a band.. My first was in Abilene I saw George Straight and The Judds, my second was Tim MacGraw, my third was the Lallapoluza in Austin . And I didn't even know anyone from that.. I just went to go, and boy am I glad what a memory.. That was so much fun..

yuk

Well since I blew it friday night with the alcahol , I figured the whole weekend was shot.. So I ate and drank all weekend.. Today I feel swollen and just down right bloated. I need to re-think about how handle my diet oop's.. one day should not kill off the other's.. So starting today no more carbs. for a while.. at least until my feet don't feel like balloons.. I did exercise over the weekend so I know that helped.. Cole took off work today to go and apply at other jobs.. He is tired of working 70 hours a week.. I agree I think at 19 years old working that many hours has to be unhealthy. Plus he needs to get away from Mertzon. He has lost so much weight working out in the heat and doing all that physical labor.. and he was skinny to start with. We have a showing today , so glad I shampood the carpets yesterday..The only down side to this viewing is its at my eating time between 2-3. Oh well.. Someone buy this house already!!!!!!!!!!

fun night

Last night Jeff and I went over to Tia's apartment.. We had a really good time.. Jeff really liked David. So thats good.. It was nice to just go and chill with other adults.. Thanks Tia for having us over.. Okay on the down side I drank which I wasn't going to until I got my 10 pounds off, but like Tia said it wasn't Bailey's.. It is so funny how drinking a different type of alcahol can affect you. Cause I drink 2 to 3 glasses of Bailey's and Dr. P at least 3 to 4 times a week and never feel like I did last night.. I had 4 drinks at Tia's and by the time I got home it really kicked in. I was drunk.. Not throwing up drunk , just really hot sex drunk.. Thanks again Tia.. Jeff said that he is going to buy me a bottle of that white Russion stuff...ha ha..Tonight is dinner with the family , we have like 4 birthdays in August so its a combined dinner party.. we do it every year this way.. usually we go to zentners but tonight we are going to lowake... hope its good!

my bad

okay so its only been a few days since I posted that I was giving up Bailey's until I lose 10 pounds.. Well I might  be re-thinking that plan.. I have exercised all week and ate very healthy, no cheating at all which was very hard for me.. You know I love them sweets... anyway as of this morning I gained 1 pound.. WTF !!!!  So I'm going to try really hard and not go buy any Bailey's over the weekend..and if I succeed at that and start losing weight again I will remain true to my first decision , but if I still do not lose any weight I am buying me 2 frickin bottels!!!

visitor

Temple showed up at my house yesterday about 4.. She looked tired and her face was a bit sunken in , but she seemed well enough.. She told me she was sorry for shuting me out of her life.. She said she is through with her drugy boyfriend and she has been clean and sober for a few weeks now..She stayed about 3 and half hours.. I told her off.. I really let her have it good.. I told her how pissed I was at her.. It felt really good to get off my chest..She told me she is really going to try and get her life back together and then fight for her girls.. Well actions speak louder than words so we shall see.. I'm really proud of myself.. I think God harden my heart towards her, cause I didn't feel anything towards her..Don't get me wrong I wish her the best I just don't want to be part of her life right now.. Aaron came over too, he was leaving for college and came to say goodbye.. He is going to a Bible Christian college in California.. So very proud of that boy.. He left out this morning.... Got my nails done yesterday.. I went out of my comfort box and got pink glitter tips instead of the white tips..Wasn't too sure about them all day yesterday , I kept thinking my fingers had blood on them.. or something.. Today so far really liking them.. Very different from my usual , but hey thats what I'm going for.. I want to try new stuff as much as possible.. I want out of my comfort box.. Remember when I told yall about our Keurig coffee maker breaking and that Jeff was going to e-mail them.. Well instead of e-mailing them he called the company.. They sent us a brand new coffee maker.. So its a good thing to always register your stuff with the company no matter how small the item is.. Thank God Jeff registered ours other wise we would have not been able to get a brand new coffee maker..

got nothing

Didn't go anywhere or do anything yesterday to write about..I have exercised everyday so thats good.. Today going to get my nails done for sure.. I am trying to put a plan together to go see Bobby Long in Dallas on Sept. 14th.. Its a wednesday so Jeff can't take me.. I would really like to see him live.. He is also playing at the Austin City Limits on Sept. 16th , but that day is already sold out, plus Jeff for sure wouldn't go to that. too many people.. So don't know if I'm gonna get to go see him on the 14th, but sure would like to. I thought I could go up there that wednesday and stay at my moms that night and come back on thursday. I might see if my sister in law wants to go . I think she is off on wednesday, but tickets are $20 which is alot I feel, but it is what it is.. I don't know , dreaming probably

such a nice day

well my 11 o'clock had to canceal cause the realtor was sick.. So after I had cleaned the house I thought now what..So I exercised it felt really good... of course now I'm sore, but I am gonna keep doing it.. Then I sat my no ass down and watch 3 netflix movies and then my abc family shows I watch. It was wonderful.. We just ate left overs so I was completly lazy...So nice to have days like that. I might get out and about today . I really need to get my nails done they look terrible..

Hmmm?

Jeff went back to work today . People coming at 11. Wanted to start exercising today , but may have to wait till tonight cause no time this morning.. I wish I was like some of those people that jump up out of bed and exercise then drink coffee, but I'm not.. Must have coffee first. and since I'm still drinking my coffee and the people will be here in an hour and half don't see me getting my exercise in this morning...Might do it afterwards..I need to go get my nails done, I need me time.. I ordered me some more make up this morning from Sephora and got 4 things free.. Score!!!  What a way to start the day..So I have set a new goal in mind .. postive thinking.. No Bailey's till I lose 10 pounds.. It will be my reward.. plus I really love it so I will work harder to get it... I'm going to try really hard not to cave.. okay so I think if I post my weight that it will also help me to be acountable. So hear goes.... I'm scared..... 153... before our girls weekend I was at 151 which was one pound away from my original goal weight of 150.. Now my new goal weight is 140. Then when I reach that goal I will see if thats where I want to be. Like I said before I like to have a little meat on my bones.. to cover my bones..

Today I woke up feeling great... I'm really trying hard to only think postive thoughts and when the negative ones start to creep in I stop them... Got the IRS thing taken care of finially , we set up a payment plan that works for us... Got people coming to look at the house today at 2 then again in the morning around 10/11.. Not very pleased with my weight gain from the weekend, but I drank all weekend so it shouldn't surprise me.. I have set a new goal for myself and really excited to get started on it..Jeff is home today he was suppose to have jury duty but it got cancelled . so he is enjoying the day off. he may go to work later today just so he won't be behind this week. I have started using my twitter more and have even met a girl from Canada that I talk too.  its also pretty cool to see stuff I tweet about get re-tweeted by strangers.. I know I'm a dork, but hey its a little bit fun in my life..Well time to go spruce up our house so these next lookers will buy it!!!

The Secret

we watched the secret today and we thought it was very interesting.. The funny thing is that is something I have realized long ago, but I didn't realize it was in your thoughts . I always thought it was stuff you said out loud.. Like you commaned it, whether it was negative or postive.. For instance when we wanted the house on Harris St. I said it out loud that the house was ours, and it became ours.. My fear when we lived in Robert Lee was that my water would break on a stormy night (when I was pregnant with Jordan) and guess what, my water broke on a stormy night. My fear about the house smelling like pets and then that couple saying my house smells like pets.. So very interesting indeed.. I will now try to focus on my thoughts.. good thoughts,

heartbroken

Sam broke up with Cole.. my heart hurts. This is the kind of pain that really sucks because as a parent you want to fix all the boo boo's that hurt your kids and this one I can't fix.. This is the second time she has broken my son's heart.. The first time they had only been dating for a couple of months, but this time is different.. We gave him some advice hopefully he will follow it.. According to Cole , Sam still wants to be friends ( best friends) she has even texted him and called him last night. We told him to not talk to her. Give her the cold shoulder.. It really pisses me off that she breaks his heart like this and still calls him like nothing happened... Pray for my baby..

no date for me

not one fricken word about our date night.. he has been on the computer all day until now and now he is playing x-box... and I'm not saying one word about it cause I told him all week long lets do something , I NEED a date night with you...So I guess I will poor me a drink and go obsess over my crush...

Sorry for last nights post

Wow, I really shouldn't drink and read my romance books.. I made it sound like Jeff was terrible.. He's not ... Don't get me wrong I still want all that stuff but what girl doesn't ... Right?   Today I will be running all kinds of errands and maybe one to the IRS.. I may wait on that one till Monday depending on how long it takes me to do everything else... I didn't sleep very good last night because of the thunder and lighting.. its been too long .. It really didn't rain very much here at my house, hopefully other areas got lots of rain. Hope everyone has a great weekend.. Laura Happy Anniversary I hope you and Matt get to go out and spend time alone together.. Get a room!!  

drunk so bare with me

The showing of the house went well..I took Brendy's advice and put the dogs on a leash and we hung out in the front yard while the strangers looked at our house.. My anxiety was so much better.. having them see me and my dogs ..and for them to know that I see them.. I think the whole anxiety thing is that I am alone so much that if one of these lookers are bad and they decide to come to my house late at night. Well today having them see my huge dog and two other loud mouths really made me feel better...I am feeling pretty good at the moment though I should have eaten more than two pieces of pizza this afternoon.. hope I won't be sick later...Okay so I'm going to vent a bit if you dont want to  hear it stop reading now............... I am lonely , I truely am... when my husband is home he is on the computer.. don't get me wrong he is a great husband and I love him very much, but I want something from him that he's not giving me.. I feel like all the excitement is gone from our marriage.. I have tried talking to him about it, but it just comes out wrong.. I know we are old now and been together for 16years, but I'm wanting more.. honestly I think the last time he has even kissed me with passion was so long ago I don't even remember..I want that .. I want passion and sex appeal . I want clothes ripping and hot sex... sorry but I like sex (when its good) I want to feel like I'm sexy and beautiful not fat and married...I want to be center of attention, I want to be flurted with and made to blush.. I want to go out with friends and have a great time instead of being in bed by 10 on a saturday night... I'm only 40 not 70.. My kids are older now and I'm ready to start having fun.. all my younger years were used raising my children , now I feel like its my turn to start having fun.. I feel like I'm going to explode. Then the rational me, the mother hen kicks in and I feel so guilty for wanting fun time.. I want to go dancing, its so not fair.. Jeff used to dance with me all the time when I was married to Doug, now he never wants too.. I keep thinking that maybe I should get a job so I would have a life other than whats in this house, but I can't .. not right now.. Even if we do move I still have to wait till Jordan done with school or he has a job...I feel like I'm sufficating, I think thats why I drink so much. Jeff never wants to do anything and I know its because he works 70 hours a week so I don't make a fuss about it, but I need to have some fun...okay I'm done

Very tense

We only had one showing yesterday, but they stayed in my house for 30 minutes.. I was a nervous freak.. litteraly I could not understand what they were doing for 30 minutes in my home.. There were 5 of them altogether all adults, not college kids.. White .. like that makes a difference..I don't know about this , I don't know how much longer I can take of having strangers in my home.. It feels like a violation to me. Like all my personal stuff out for the viewing.. UGH!!!      I have been out of my drink for a week now and just haven't made it out to Sams.. Jordan asked me last night 'mom why haven't you been drinking this week'  Haa I guess he likes me better when I drink even though he teases me about it... Thinking I might go pick up a few groceries at Sams today and pick me up my drink..I am going through some issues with myself right now .. I really need a date night with my husband.. I keep telling him this we will see if it happens this weekend.. It looks like I am going to have to go down to our local IRS cause they haven't called me back yet.. I have got to get this taken care of before the 24th.. I'm gonna go I'm in a grouchy mood.. I just want some attention damit!!!!!

may be a busy day

Brendy called me last night and said she had to turn 4 lookers down yesterday due to the carpets being cleaned.. So I will either be ambushed today or the rest of the week...We will see... I didn't exercise yesterday since I cleaned the carpets and to my surprise I lost one pound as of this morning... Our keurig coffee maker quit on us.. We haven't even had it 6 months I don't think.. Thank God I kept the old coffee maker.. I think Jeff is going to e-mail company this weekend.. maybe we can get a free one..Thats it for now..

carpets

Brendy called and said someone else wants to look at the house tomorrow , so I decided to go ahead and shampoo the carpets.. This was my first time usually Jeff does it.. It was really easy I don't know why I have never done it before.. Anyway they are cleaner now.. Then she called me back and said someone else wants to see the house today at 3:30. I had to turn it down because I want the carpets to be good and dry before people start walking on them. So it looks like two more lookers are on there way to see the house this week.. Hopefully my house doesn't smell like pets now..

my dogs

Brendy my realtor called me this morning and said that she got feed back from one of the 3 people that have seen my house.. She said that they looked at 9 houses yesterday and liked mine the best (thats good) , but that they couldn't get past the pet smell (thats bad)..  That is my biggest issue with the dogs.. I have always had a phobia of the pet smell thats why I clean so much trying to keep it from being too strong.. We clean our carpets alot and we were going to clean them this past weekend , but Jeff had to fix my car, so it didn't get done.. He will be doing it saturday for sure.. Brendy told me she didn't smell a pet smell in my house , but she is also a pet owner.. I have two lysol air freshners in the livingroom, 1 in den, 1 in dinning room, 1 in each of the bathrooms.. I moped before the showing and vacuumed and dusted.. so either these people have an extremly good nose and they don't own pets, or my house stinks and Brendy didn't want to tell me cause she is my cousin...

Bored

I am so bored right now.. the sad thing is usually when I'm bored I make me a drink, but I'm out of baileys and don't want to go all the way to Sam's and get it.. I exercised this morning for about an hour. 30 minutes on tredmil and 30 minutes on eleptical.. I have not exercised in two weeks.. the good news is I haven't gained weight either.. didn't lose any , but at least I stayed the same without any exercise.. I'm ready for cooler weather so I can go back to the KOA I miss it out there..Jeff talked to his grandmother today about what happened to me at the baby shower and also about how Vonda and Mandy have completly shut us out of there lives.. I guess that was his way of defending me with out talking to his mother.. Of course his grandmother defended Vonda and Mandy saying they were probably just caught up in the moment or too busy to notice... Like I told Jeff well that is a slap in my face too.. If I'm so unimportant that you would not notice me sitting there by myself...oh well its over and done with.. Not dwelling on it.. Besides right now Vonda is in so much pain from her boyfriend's sudden death that yesterday doesn't even matter anymore... Well gonna go druel over my crush on Tumblr...

early call

Early this morning I received a phone call from Jeff's aunt Lynn.. My first thought was she suddenly realized how they treated me yesterday and was calling to apoligize.. I almost didn't answer the phone, but I did.. and she was freakin out . She was trying to get a hold of Jeff, because Vonda's boyfriend (Jeffs mom) died last night and Vonda wasn't answering her phone. So she wanted Jeff to call her to check on her. We only found out she had a boyfriend last week through facebook.. But evidentally Vonda was in love with this guy..So he did call to check on her.. Yesterday I was so upset with him, after telling him what happened he just said he was sorry that his family did that to me, but just to Fuck em that its. When I told my mom what happened she got so upset and wanted to call Vonda and find out why she treated me like she did.. I had to convince my mom not to call her.. I guess no matter how old you are your mom still wants to protect you.. but what hurt me was that Jeff didn't want to call and talk to his mom about it.. I wouldn't have let him because I don't want there to be problems that I have caused between him and his family, but it would have been nice for him to defend me. Not just to tell me to Fuck em and act like nothing happened...So now that Vonda's boyfriend died I'm feeling very stupid about how hurt I got yesterday..This is what happened.... Got to the baby shower and everyone hugged my neck (there huggers)  and were real nice and normal.. I sat with Jeff's cousins who came in from Saginaw.. we visited pretty much the whole time.. what turned was after all the gifts were opened group pictures began.. Family groups, his and hers different groups , all together groups, but not once was I included in the pictures.. I just sat there stairing at them.. While everyone else was asked to have a picture... People that I didn't even know were asked to be in pictures.. It really hurt. At one point I was the only one sitting... I know you might think no big deal, but to me it was just one more slap in the face that I'm not wanted...and then after all the pictures were done I was leaving so said my goodbyes and Mandy had the gawl to tell me' good luck on selling the house, but of course I don't mean it I don't want yall to move'  I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something I knew would not be right.. I just smiled and left... Okay don't judge me it is that time of the month  so I'm extra emotional.. next week all this might not even matter...Now on to other news I was so disapointed last night I sat and watched the stupid TCA for one reason and one reason only and he didn't even show up till like the last 20 minutes .. he did win two awards though so he got to go on stage and speak in that most gloriouse voice.. Now he will probably head to London...sigh...oh and we have to be out of the house by 9:45 this morning because we have some more lookers... so I guess I better get off here...

All I have to say is I'm so hurt by Mandy and Jeff's mom... I'm trying to just say FUCK em like Jeff said, but I'm the emotional one and its eating me up... Its really not a big deal what happened , but to me it felt horrible.. Sorry thats all I'm going to say right now..

Just a day

Well the house is very quiet all the guys went to the gun range. I am doing laundry then going to get ready to go the baby shower for Mandy, its in Ballinger.. We have to get my car inspected before I head that way. We went yesterday and the guy was too busy to do it. Jeff likes to go to the same place every year.. Must be a guy thing.. My dad came over and yes I did make a huge mistake so we do owe the IRS . So it looks like I will be trying to set up some kind of payment plan.. If we can have it paid off in 120 days we will save ourselves alot of money..So no more gun stuff for 120 days.. I caught the bbq pit on fire yesterday and burnt our pork chops to ashes.. My sister in law came over for me to do her hair. And I had just put the pork chops on the grill. We all got to talking and I forgot about them. Jeff did too.. I was so embarassed... Just very lucky the propane didn't explode..I was so mad too , cause they were really thick and boneless.. I'm so excited to see my crush on t.v. tonight.. I have my dvr ready just in case I miss anything... He is always so funny at these award shows, can't wait to see what he does this year. Also this will be his last public outing till the Breaking Dawn premier, so I am heading for a few month drought... Kristen is in London filming so I bet he will head home. We might get a few pictures of him and her out and about, but I really don't like those. It makes me feel like were invading on his privacy.. which those pictures do..

got nothing

Not much happening today.. Jeff giving the Durango a tune up.. then my sister -in-law (Calobs wife) is coming over so I can fix her hair for a wedding.. She had it cut similar to mine and still can't fix it.. Then my dad coming over to help me fix my IRS mistake from 2009.. Such a nice little letter we received from them.. Need to get both vehicles inspection done , and need to get a baby shower gift for tomorrow.. So thats it.. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

wow

After reading Laura's and Tia's blog yesterday it made me realize how very lucky I am.. Sorry no offence to yall, but I am in a great place in my life... I may complain about no romance with my husband , but he is my bestfriend in the whole world. I can count on him for everything.. I don't have any girlfriends to hang out with. Thats why I like blogging so much.. We all have such very busy lives (taking care of our familys) and to me it helps us to stay connected. Even if its just short and boring.. Constant communication grows relationships.. and it takes more than one person to keep that relationship alive..I look back at mine and Temple's friendship and my heart hurts.. I tried so despertaly to hang on to that friendship, but she was letting me go.. It took me sitting on the stand in the court room to realize that she no longer cared for me the way that I cared about her.. Friendships come and go.. Its a fact of life. People grow apart. So I feel very comforted by blogging , It helps me to hang on to our speradic friendship.. I have never been really close to any of you. I always felt like I was the fifth wheel. Don't get me wrong I feel very liked by yall. and I like all of yall. Its just yall have stories and stories about things that yall have shared together. Which is awesome.. but while yall were making all these wonderful memories I was at home.. So thats how I feel like a fifthe wheel... After losing Temple yall have become so important to me.. I never want to lose another friend and I call each and every one of you my friend.. I know I'm being emotional, but thats who I am.. I am alway emotional , I cry at movies, I cry reading books, I cry when I'm mad, Hell I even cry with certain commericials .  Maybe thats why I always make all those stupid facial expressions. I am emotional... Love you guys!

Here we go

Tomorrow between 6-7 strangers will be in my home... I feel kinda of shocked that people are wanting to come look at my house.. I mean I know its up for sale, but you never really think someone will come and look.. I'm having a really hard time with strangers in my home.. I have to have the dogs out of the house, so I think we will just load up in the car and park across the street and down a bit so I can keep an eye out.. I know dumb right.

yea ! school is done

Jordan is just now starting his summer break.. He was suppose to be finished with school July 28th, but we had a few set backs.. Not too bad Aug 3rd isn't too far away from original end date.. The only thing that confused us was when he finished his last test and past it the whole program started all over again from the very first days work... It really confused us.. It was like oh no he didn't pass and its making him start all over, but that wasn't the case.. Were only giving him this month off unless were moving then he will start school when were settled.. The beauty of homeschooling we set our own schedule... Mandy's baby shower is this Sunday talk about feeling like an outsider... Here I am the sister-in-law that was part host in all the other baby showers and I'm excluded this time... In fact other than her mom and aunt I don't know the other people hosting the shower.. We are so not close anymore..I went on the Target registry this morning and saw what she named the baby.. I didn't even know that..The confusing thing on our part is she is naming her baby boy Ryan.. That means my boys will have two first cousins with the name Ryan.. One a boy and one a girl.. Were going to have to come up with a nick name for Mandy's Ryan cause Lawrence's Ryann has been here already for 4 years..Kinda funny though if you think about it  Jeff's sister names baby Ryan and my brother named his daughter Ryann.. Oh and my first cousin Crystal the one that we went to the crawfish boil her oldest boy is named Ryan , so we will have 3 Ryan's in the family... I have the blahs really bad.. I know I need to exercise, but I think I need a change of scenery... Tired of my tredmil and eleptical.. But its too hot to go outside .. I need to just push through and do it.. I know once I start back it will make me feel better.

I'm in a mood

I'm sure the mood I'm in is because its close to the monthly visitor, but man I can't shake it... I need some lovin.. After reading The Hunger Games and now back on Twilight I'm feeling a bit lonely... Jeff says I'm always like this when I read those kind of books.. I can't help it , I feel cheated sometimes... Don't get me wrong you have heard me say this before . My husband is awesome.. I love him very much , but there's just no romance in him at all.. The last time he held my hand was in Vegas, and that was the first time he held my hand... I know I'm being stupid.. I used to think he didn't want to hold my hand because I was fat and ugly and he didn't want anyone to know we were together.. Well 16 years later I still feel like that...again I know I'm being stupid.. like I said I'm in a mood... Cole and Sam are having some problems .. She is bored with there relationship.. She told him they are in a rutt... I tried to explain to him that her watching him play x-box is not fun.. It reminds me of way back in the day how I would sit on the curb and watch you know who work on his car with another you know who... It really sucked! I told Cole what he needed to do to spice things back up and rekindle what they have.. Hopefully this relationship can be saved.. I really love this girl... Well pictures are posted for the house . They should be on Realitor.com by tomorrow.. They look really funny.. I don't think the pictures are very good at all.. But at the moment I really don't care if it draws people in or not... Right now I don't care if we move...I need a drink!!!!

House for Sale

Well its a done deal.. Pictures taken , paper work done, sign in the yard...So now we will see if it sale's. If not no biggy we just stay put...

clean house

OMG!!   Finialy done cleaning this house.. I clean the bathrooms once a week, but I vacuum, sweep, mop, and dust twice a week. because of the dogs. But today I scrubbed base boards, door jams literally every square inch of this house.. It took me 5 hours to clean it, but man does it smell and look awesome... Brendy is coming over tomorrow to take pictures and us do the paper work.. So by Wednesday it should be listed to sale.. Now I think I will go sit in my chair and relax...

weekend

We are finished.. we worked so hard Saturday to get everything done and we did... the only thing I need to do is clean which I will do today..We decided not to spend the $65 to fix that little spot in the carpet.. we will wait to see if its requested to be fixed.. you never know who ever buys the house may know how to repair carpet.. Were selling conventional anyway so it doesn't have to be perfect..The house really looks great.. I told Jeff I was having second thoughts about moving cause now we have a new house without all the moving part... He didn't find it funny.. when I told my mom the same thing she just said NOOOOOO  don't think that way...I really do dreed the moving part.. Laura who did you say you used to move.. Jeff thought it was a great idea to get some quates....  In my spare time this weekend I finished all three books from The Hunger Games .. I really liked book one and two, but third book really broke my heart, I'm still thinking about it...I should have stopped reading it and made up my own ending..My ending would have been better... Speaking about the end of the book I felt like the author lost her edge or something it just felt like it was rushed to be done... Now on to re-reading Twilight.. Well after I clean...