Not much to do..

Just another boring day. I do have to go to WalMart, which I am not looking forward to. The remodling is a pain in the ass. Maybe I will go to the one on N. Bryant. Jeff will be home tonight, so I guess I need to cook. I haven't cooked all week. I have done really good on the no starches, but have had 1 banana with my slimfast shake everyday. The homeschool crew is meeting at the park today. I kinda want to go just to talk to other adults, but Jordan really doesn't like going. He is so shy. He is too much like his father in that area. I want to put some color in my hair. I was thinking about strips of red just in my bangs. I need a change and the cut is staying the same , so why not play with color. Jeff asked me if I was having a mid-life crisis. I told him if I am he is lucky that I only want to play with color not anything else. I have a new follower on tumblr. I'm such a dork when I saw the follow my heart stopped. I have a fake friend YEA!  Of course she probably wont stay long, I'm pretty boring.

Too cold..

Okay so who the hell turned off the heater ?  Someone on facebook posted that and it fits perfectly. I am tired of this cold weather, its suppose to be Spring for crying out loud. I just hope we all don't get sick from this crazy weather. On the plus side maybe this is our last cold spell. Usually we have a freeze around Easter, so maybe this will be it. We are walking today , but for Jordan's sake we are going to wait untill after lunch, maybe it will be warmer then.Haven't seen Jeff since Sunday night, he thinks he will get to come home Thursday night. I miss adult contact. I think thats why I love going to Zumba.Also its fun. I talked to Temple yesterday, her and Bill are still full of drama. She is so hard to talk too. Her brain has always been sparatic, many conversations at once. And I used to be able to keep up with her and bring her back to the original conversation, but yesterday I was so lost. Her meds. need to be changed. Cole is going to go work on an explosion today with his job. Scary for a mom. Cool for him. I flat out told Jeff he needs to lose weight. He needs to get some exercise. I heard that if your 50 pounds over weight it can shorten your life span by 13 years. Thats alot. And he is 50 pounds over weight. He said he is only 40 but I disagree. Besides if he would lose his belly I think it would help us in the bedroom.

I feel like shit..

Okay so being lazy yesterday has upset my body. I hurt all over and have the blahs again because I never left the house. Today we are walking I don't care if its cold we are getting out of here. We both seem to get along so much better when we exercise. Yesterday was my first full day without any starches. I did eat one banana in my slimfast.  And I consumed only 1300 cal. no cheating . I was okay, not starving , but didn't ever really feel full.  I eat every 2-3 hours so that helps. I was up late last night , I wanted to finish my book. Bel Ami, It was okay.  I hope the movie will be better. Now to move on to Cosmopolis. I think I will re-read Water for Elephants first, cause the movie will be out Aprill 22. Sooo can't wait. The book is so good the movie has to be..On a different note, saw Scott for the first time in 5 months. He came to pick up Austin. The strange thing is I had a dream about Scott Saturday night. The dream wasn't anything big deal it was just me and Jordan and for some reason we were looking for Scott. Never could find him. Strange..Maybe my subconscious mind was worring about him. His facebook post are sometimes scary. Like there from some sort of dark side of Scott. Not the Scott I knew. But I guess when you go through losing the love of your life , life changes you.

Just a little crush .

Okay maybe a big one.. Well at least Jeff and Jordan are cool with it. They both tease me so much it is quiet embarrassing at times. I'm so excited to see Robs new movie . When Jeff and I went to the movies a couple of weeks ago , the Water for Elephants had a preview and Jeff said oh I didn't know Reese Witherspoon was in it, so yea I will take you to see it. So now I'm a happy girl. Course I would have gone by myself. I do it all the time. Yesterday Sam came and walked the KOA with Jordan and me. She sent me a text this morning telling me her butt and legs hurt today. I actually did something when I was running yesterday to my right hip. I don't know if I will run today. Let it rest a bit. I did good all day with the no starches, until about 6:30 then Jeff wanted ice cream . So I had ice cream too. I did weigh myself this morning and I didn't gain any weight from the weekend. So that is good. Didn't lose any , but at least I didn't gain. Jordan has already lost 3 pounds . So us getting out exercising is so good for him too. I hope this will install the importance of exercise in him so he will always do it. And not be like Jeff who hates it. I love to exercise it makes me feel so good. Yep I'm a freak!

I'm a happy girl..

Yea, I was able to get me a new bra yesterday. Actually I splurged and bought two. On the down side I went from a 38 D to a 34 C. I like the 34 part, but would have loved to stay a D. Oh well maybe they will become perky the more weight I lose. A girl can dream right? Didn't exercise yesterday, but we did yard work and I thank that is harder than exercising. Today back to it though. I am also gonna try no starches or fruit. The starches thing I can handle (I think) the no fruit part is gonna be tough. I love my banana's in my slim fast. It makes it so yummy. Even Jordan likes it. I bought a new vitamine that I read about that is suppose to boost up your metabolizism and burn fat. So I am giving that a try as well. It better work. Expensive little bugger. 30 pills at $10 and that was at WalMart. Its called COQ10. The article also said green tea was great for energy and to help with weightloss, but I don't like green tea so it said there is a suppliment you can take its ECGC , but I couldn't find it at WalMart. Cole came home last night. He looked taller to me. He must have missed us cause he stayed in the living room and just talked and talked. We stayed up till midnight just visiting. It was so nice. I really missed seeing him everyday. Jordan did too, he was so wound up. He gets that way when he is excited about something. Sam ended up staying the night here. Which I don't mind its just they were together all week I wanted him to myself. He seems to like the job so far, but he really hasn't been there long enough to decide for sure. Well gonna get off  here and go to the KOA.

Well we went to the movies yesterday as planned. I didn't realize this , but did you know that Fridays early bird price and Saturday and Sundays early bird price is different. Friday its $6.50 and Sat.& Sun. its $4.75 Strange? Anyway , the movie was cute. Its was mostly about a big brother always picking on the younger one. Jordan liked it , thats all that matters. I didn't feel it was movie price worthy. I could have watched on DVD and been satisfied. Oh well . we got out of the house. Today Jeff has some things to do, so I am hoping Jordan will go with him and help him. Jordan really needs some Dad time. Jordan helped Jeff clean his gun last night, it was so cute to hear them talking and doing things together. I on the other hand is going to go buy me a bra YEA!  Then I am going to go buy groceries BOO! Jordan is really enjoying going out to the KOA. I am too. We want Jeff to come with us today and tomorrow. We will see. Speaking of Jeff all I am gonna say is  WOW !!!!!!!! If we could have everytime like that my sex life wouldn't suck... Okay I would be resonable every other time :)

Today is Fun Day !!

Jordan and I are getting out of this house today. We are going to go eat somewhere (healthy) then go to the movies. We were talking about trying to do something simple and fun every Friday. Jeff will be home from Kansas today . He already told me he has a list of things that he volinteered to do for others this weekend. So it looks like he is going to be busy. I said I wasn't going to weigh myself anymore, but I just couldn't help myself. I wish I wouldn't have. I haven't lost anything. I really wish my body would start working right. I think maybe I need to lower my calorie intake. I have been keeping a food journal and that really helps. I consume 1500 calories a day. So I think I will try to drop down to 1300. I know one thing , changing up your workout routine sure does help. I have been exercising here at the house 1 hr. on tredmil burning 700cal. and 40 min. on eleptical burning 500cal. plus yoga at least twice a week and then Zumba twice a week. I have been doing that same routine for months. And this week walk/run out at the KOA twice , I can feel the changes in my body muscles. So mixing it up is a good idea. I think we will do this for a while . Plus it gets Jordan his 1 hr of physical activity that he needs since he is homeschooled.

I have too..

Well last week Jordan didn't want to go down to the Marial Arts place. So today we have to go. I told Jeff  that Jordan didn't really seem interested in it to me, or he would be bugging the shit out of me to go. Jeff said he didn't care, get his ass down there. So like a good little girl I will be taking my son to watch today. I do think it is good to have your kids in some sort of activity, but I don't want to force him. How much fun could that be if you really don't want to be doing something. We all know that answer. We walked the KOA yesterday. Jordan did really good. He took his scooter, which I thought would make it harder for him, but it didn't and he really had a blast going down the hills. It was good for me too, cause I got to run alot more. Its a start,  I feel like I did half and half .. run.. walk. Now on to more important stuff. I am for sure gonna need a boob job after I get all this weight off. I have lost a whole cup size. I found an old razor back bra that I had when I was at my smallest and it fits perfectly. I do not like the bra. I like my boobs to be up and out. This bra feels more like a sports bra. I am biting the bullet and going to get me a good bra either today or tomorrow.

Ouch, Ouch , Ouch!!

I was right Zumba kicked my ass . My shoulders are killing me. The instructers like to change it up every few weeks and we do different songs and moves. Which is good, cuase doing the same ones over and over gets boring. Jordan and I are gonna walk again today. He is way out of shape. So sad for a 13 soon to be 14 year old. We walked the KOA twice, which is no big deal for me, but he thought he was gonna die. His leg hurt , his side hurt, he felt like he was gonna throw up. I was like geez Jordan you should be able to run circles around me. I am used to running on the tredmil, so my goal is to run the whole KOA. Jordan's goal is to walk it twice without dying. I had a long talk with Jordan about taking the job, and he really doesn't want me too. His big concern was his school. It would be hard on me to wait till I got home to help him. I would be tired and cranky. He could try to do it on his own, but if he had problems, then he would have to wait till I got home to help. And the way the program is designed is you can't move on to something else . So if he was stuck on one part, he couldn't just skip out of it and go on to something else. He wouldn't be able to finish until I got home. Besides when we discussed me homeschooling Jordan I knew I was gonna have to make sacrifices. This is his first year. As he gets better at school, then if need be I could go to work, but right now he needs me. And he is my first priority.

I just don't know...

My aunt Cindy called me to tell me about a temp. job leasing apartments. It would only be for six weeks. Monday -Friday, maybe a Saturday if there's a special running. 8:30-5:30. If I want it the job is mine, the lady already offered it to me. Cindy already told her about my leasing experience. Now the delima, do I really want to leave Jordan alone all day by himself. Do I really want to go to work. Even though its just six weeks. I know the extra money would be nice, but I just don't know. I really , really , don't know. I have to let her know something by tomorrow. The down side to this , is if I don't take the job how guilty would I feel. And if I do take the job , how guilty would I feel leaving Jordan. I haven't even thought about getting a job. The ironic thing is , this is how I got sucked into my job at Wellington.

I need a Re-Boot !!

I didn't do anything yesterday, well I took a shower then I didn't do anything. I have the lazy's bad. I haven't exercised in 3 days. I need to get back to it. I think Jordan and I will go to the KOA today. Need a change in my routine. Tonight is Zumba and since I haven't been exercising its gonna kick my ass. Jeff has two runs to Kansas, so he won't be home till Friday. Cole called last night said his day went by fast. He didn't take enough food for the day so he was starving. He said he looked like a grease monkey. He's never been so dirty in his life. I thought that was funny. I really hate not seeing him. I guess this is the start of him moving out though, so I guess I better find a way to get used to it. My mom laughed at me when I told her I cried Sunday night when he left. She said now you know I how I felt. And you were 16. All I could do was tell her how sorry I was. Cole said he will come spend the day with us on Sunday.

oh boy what a morning...

Yesterday morning started out great. Pretty much lazy day planned. Then while I was fixing this huge breakfast. ( I love breakfast) Jeff was taking a shower. We have had some problems with our shower faucet dripping . Not like a drip..... drip..... drip..... more like dripdripdripdripdrip... Well this morning it decided it just didn't want to turn off at all. So full shower running with no one in it. Jeff had to turn the water off. I have a huge sink full of dishes(dishwasher broke) still cooking, laundry in wash. Yuk no water. Thank God for antibacteria wipes. Cause I wash my hands  ALOT... So we all ate, then Jeff went to get parts to fix shower. So $40 and 3 hours later shower was fixed. Yea go Jeff!!!!!! Well now I have all these dishes and 5 loads of laundry to do. My lazy day didn't get to start till about 6. One thing I should have done , but didn't was exercise. Now with the clouds outside and not really getting my lazy day yesterday, I want to be lazy today.

A good day..

Had such a good day yesterday. We went and saw Red Riding Hood. It was okay, I was expecting more , with all the hype about it. Then we went to my aunts and had a fish fry. We stayed till almost 11. Today just the usual.

Such a baby!

I feel so bad for yesterdays post. Thank you for all your comments. I am really fine. I was just having a very bad day. Jordan and I really need to start getting out of this house. Since Jeff is too tired on the weekends , we really need to do things during the week when he isn't home. Today Jeff and I are going to the movies, then later tonight we are going to my Aunts B-Day fish fry dinner. Should be fun, she has a Wii. Sorry for being such a baby yesterday, but it sure felt good to get stuff off my chest. I like this blogging thing. I never kept a diary so this is really good for me. I guess since others are reading it I should keep from complaining, but I just really needed to vent. Thanks guys.

So messed up..

I do love my life , I am grateful for what I have. Healthy children, husband that loves me, and works really hard for me. Its just deep down inside I feel like I am lost. I know Christ, he is my Lord and Savior. Its not a religious thing its something else I just can't seem to shake. I'm always on the verge of crying. I yell alot. Sorry , its true . Spending all day with Jordan really gets under my skin. He is still up my ass. I feel really alone. Jeff is no help right now. He works so hard and then doesn't want to do anything on the weekends. My life : exercise,(and I'm still fat) school,tv,computer,drinking. Usually done alone, except the school part. I need a retreet from my life. To just get away and pretend to be someone else. I have always been one to follow all the rules and never do anything wrong. I'm such a prude. I'm 40 and live like I'm 70. I miss getting out and socializing. I miss having fun. I don't even know how to relax and have fun anymore. I have no one to hang out with. My sex life really sucks. I'm fat. I'm 40 :(   I am a mess !

I really hate my cable Right Now !!

My crush is going to be interviewed today for a full 30 minutes on mtv, and we don't have that channel. My only hope is that Jeff will not be on the computer so that I can watch online. If he is , maybe I can use Jordan's computer. Ah Ha, thats what I will do. Yes , hopefully I can view it . Then he is going to be on the Jay Leno show tonight.. I can't wait, he is so fricken sexy... Sweet dreams for me tonight...

Not much to say..

I didn't exercise yesterday, and  I feel it. I did clean house so that is a bit of exercise. I have now been doing that yoga tape for a month. I really like it. I haven't really noticed any change in my body, but I have only done it twice a week. This week I have done it 4 times. Jordan wants to wait till next week to go check out the martial arts thing. I don't think this is something he wants to do, or he would be driving me nuts about doing it. I think its more Jeff wanting him to do it. No plans for tonight. Tomorrow Jeff and I are going to go see Red Riding Hood. I drank alot last weekend and ate like crazy. So I am going to try to be very good this weekend. Damn Baileys and Coke  Why Must You Be So YUMMY !!!

So why do we celebrate?

So today is St. Patrick's Day and I ask myself why is this something we celebrate? I honestly don't remember. All I remember from school was to wear green or you got pinched. I know I can look it up online to see what this national holiday stands for, maybe I will later. Today Jeff wants me to take Jordan down to the Mixed Martial Arts place and let him check it out to see if he wants to do it or not. Part of me wants him to do it , cause he needs a hobby. And part of me doesn't want him to do it , cause I don't want him to get hurt. They actually spar against each other.  Any who I guess we will see what happens. I want to go shopping. I think , I want to look for sun dresses to wear this summer. I haven't wore a skirt since my senior year in high school. Which is all I used to wear. Loved the mini.. Now I would love to have something just above the knee.

Okay I'm better now..

So Cole went for his new job phiysical and drug test this morning. He also gave notice. He will begin his new job Monday. I do feel this physical labor job will be good for him. He has had it pretty easy. This is going to be a whole new world for him. His girlfriends dad and brother in law both work at Thorps, so at least he will no people there. He seems pretty excited about it. He plans on staying in Mertzon alot cause he has to be at work at 6:30am. I think thats the hard part for me. Letting go.

Oh Cole what are you doing?

My son, I am so worried about him. You know this letting go crap is for the birds. Why must they grow up and make choices of there own. I know its time, he's almost 19 , but it really sucks. I think he is making a terrible mistake, but he wont listen to us.  I know we made bad mistakes growing up too, but isn't that why we want our kids to do so much better. He is going to quit Weirnershnitzel and go to work at Tom Thorp. I know 3 years at a fast food place is boring, and I know he is ready for something new, but to go to work as a swamper I just don't get. Maybe hard work will wake him up and he will decide to go to college. I just have been praying God's will to be done. So with the job being in Mertzon he will probably move out there, if he stays at the job. Which sucks , cause I barely see him now living under my roof. This just SUCKS !!!!! Sorry I'm just sad..

Walking the line again..

I feel so much better today. I exercised, and Jeff tried to do the yoga with me. He could not do it. I am back on my healthy schedule. It sure makes a difference how I feel when I eat good verses bad. I need to remember that, then maybe I will always choose wisely. Jeff passed his physical. So happy. His blood pressure was fine. YEA! I made homemade chicken parmigiano today . I made it from a healthy cook book. It was really good and only 332 calories per serving. Not much going on this week. Same ole same ole. I am very dissapointed no girls night out, but I no there will be another time. Jeff and I decided to have date night this Saturday. I want to go see Red Riding Hood. So thats what we are gonna do.

Ugh !!

I feel so blahhh. I think I might actually expload. I am about to start, so I have ate everything that is in sight. I feel so hungry. Which is not the norm for me here lately. I have really been in control of my eating, but this weekend its been bad. Today was better. I had a small healthy breakfast, then we all went and walked at the KOA. I was so happy Jeff came too. Then when we got back he grilled some steak and we had healthy sides and wheat tortillas. Mandy took Vonda's truck to her so we didn't have to do that . Which is nice I didn't want to go to Ballinger today. Jeff is off tomorrow, he has to go for his physical. Hope he passes.

Didn't see that coming...

Well yesterday was a great day. Jordan and I got out of the house , did all our running around, and he was so helpful I bought him this air soft gun he's been wanting. All in all a very good day. I got my bailey's and coke sat down to fiddle on the computer waiting for Jeff to come home. Still in a great mood. Decided I wanted weirner world for dinner so called Jeff to see where he was and if that sounded good to him. Cause we haven't had it in probably 2 months. He was on his way home and said yep , sounds good. Still in a great mood. Jeff gets home we watch our recorded survivor and eat. Still in a great mood. Somehow Thursday night Jordan picked up some kind of virus on his laptop. So Jeff was checking it out to see why the anti-virus didn't catch it. I was asking questions. I know nothing about computers. He starts giving me attitude. Look I know he's tired he just worked 70 hours, but whats the deal, I'm just curious. so from then on Not in a good mood. He was rude and distant the rest of the night. When I went to bed I asked him a question about my phone. There are some things I wanted to remove. He picks it up and deletes everything. I freak out. He didn't even say he was sorry. All he said was give me the phone back I will fix it. Well no thank you, I will figure it out. He gets all huffy puffy and gets up out of bed, grabs his pillow and leaves. He slept on the couch ! !!! And since this was the first time in 16 years that , that has happened I laughed at him as he was walking out the bedroom door. Okay I know I shouldn't have laughed, but gee's grow up. Now this morning he is not talking to me. Such a good day to look forward to. Oh and I did figure out my phone all by myself !

I'm not heartless..

Just woke up to hearing about all the devastion that is going on in Japan and now Hawaii. So sad and scary. They are predicting that California is gonna get hit with the tsunami also. I asked Jeff why he didn't tell me when I called him this morning. He just laughed and said you don't care whats going on in the world remember. And thats just not true. I don't watch the news, cause I don't like to hear all the evil thats happening. I know its out there I don't have to watch about it. I also don't care to hear how our government is screwing things up, cause theres nothing I can do to fix it. I pray what more can I do? However devastion brought on by mother nature is no one's fault.   Today I have my usual running to do. So not gonna exercise. I sure am regretting eating that pizza. My hands are so swollen.

Okay I cheated!

What ? you ask, well get your mind out of the gutter. I said I wasn't going to weigh myself untill my favorite pants were falling off me. Well I cheated, I weighed and measured myself yesterday morning. I measured myself first, I haven't measured since 2-7-11. So about a month. I am so fricken excited I have lost a total of 11.5 inches. This is the total for all my body measurments. So when I decided I would weigh I told myself no big deal if no weight loss, I see it in inches. You know trying to syke myself up for the disappointment. So I get on the scales and I have lost 5 pounds. Not much, but I will take it. Maybe this 5 pounds is a sign that I have finially broken through my weightloss platau. Okay on to a funny story. Cole pulled a prank with a couple of his buddies last night. Apparently it went very good. Cole dressed up as Slender Man to scare some other kid. I have never heard of this Slender Man, he is a man dressed in a tux with panty hose on his face. I really wished I would have seen Cole dressed this way. I bet he was creepy looking. The prank went well he scared everyone in the house. Except for the parents. I think they were pre - warned.

Nope, Not Gonna Do It..

Well I have decided to just keep trucking along at my slow , but healthy weightloss on my own without any weightloss product. I talked to my aunt about the stuff and she said it is guarenteed, but it really would work best if I bought the whole package deal thing. Like $230. No thank you. I can think of a lot better ways to spend that kind of money.      So Jeff was sent to Colorodo today, he may not make it back home till Saturday. Its a 42 hour trip. I really hate it when they schedule the long hauls at the end of the week like this. He is off Monday it is time for his yearly check up. All truck drivers have to get a check up twice a year. Jeff has white coat syndrome, so he has to go every year. He takes his blood pressure all the time and it is fine at home, but as soon as he sits down in front of the doctor, it sky rockets. Hopefully this year's check up will go better for him. We have cut out salt in all our cooking.   Went and walked the KOA twice with Jordan and my aunt yesterday. She was sweating , Jordan came home and crashed. I felt fine, didn't even break a sweat. I should have done my regular work out when we got home , but I put a color on my hair insteed. Did go to Zumba though. Man my life is boring. Oh well at least I don't have to deal with drama !!

What should I do?

Well I am having a struggle with what to do. All this time I have been keeping a food journal and keeping my calories low. Exercising like crazy. No diet pills..Well my aunt Cindy sales Herbal Life products and they have come out with a weight loss powder you add to your meal shakes. It is getting great reviews and the best part is its money back guarentee. I am really torn on whether to try it. For one I feel my hormones are finially getting stable and what will this product do to them, but on the other hand if this works and I could get the weight off much faster. Plus , Cindy knows me, she knows I would do it right. So if it doesn't work I can get my money back. Its not cheap either. If I decide to get it, it will be the most expensive weightloss product I have bought. Its like $100. I need to check with her to see how much weight the guarentee covers, cause if I spend $100 I better get my moneys worth. I don't want to lose 5 pounds and that be it. I am going to talk with her about it this morning , we are going to go walk out at the KOA.

Going to Expload..

I am just so upset at Jeff and then I start to feel guitly for being upset at him. Which then makes me mad at myself. Visious cycle. Don't get me wrong I love him very much and I am greatful for all he does for us, but sometimes he is just clueless when it comes to me. He has great qualities I need to just focus on them and not let the other stuff get to me, but I am a woman of course the other stuff gets to me. I think what makes me so angry at him is we have been married for 16 years now, and he still doesn't get it. Okay I will explain. Our anniversary was friday, I got nothing, no flowers , no card, no hand written letter telling me sweet stuff. NOTHING !!!!!  You know what he told me when I gave him his card, I didn't get you anything cause I didn't have time. Oh hell no.. You just spent the night in Kmart parking lot, just drove home past Albertsons.. I don't know why I do this to myself. He has only given me a gift one time and that was last year on my Birthday. But every fricken event I just get my hopes up for nothing. Thinking maybe this time will be different. There's other stuff that I'm going through right now with him, but it would  be to embarrassing to tell. UGH! so frustrated. And I know this is stupid, cause he is a great man, he's dependable, loyal, trustworthy, honest, great provider, great dad. He is a great husband in all other area's, except for two. So thats why I start feeling guilty for being upset. The funny thing is I just blow it off with him, cause I don't want to hurt his feelings. So happy to be getting this off my chest.

Family game night..

Well we didn't do anything special for our anniversary. Saturday we went and watched my nephew race his durby car. So many kids. He came in second for his division.  Then we went and ate with my dad and step-mom. Which is something we hardly do. While eating we actually got invited to family game night. Something I have only heard about. So we went. It was a lot of fun. What really makes it fun for me is my aunt Cindy and Lacey and Pete. I just love them so much. Lacey was so excited she got her first car and it is a red convertable bug. Its a stick so she is learning to drive it. We went for a ride and she is doing really good for just her second time to drive it. We played on the Wii and some played 42. It was really great to get out of the house and interact with other people. Get my haircut tomorrow, can't wait its so long. Today is laundry day (yuk). Oh yea we tried the wine that I bought.... Blahhhhh Blahhhh, I gues its official were not wine drinkers. We took it with us to family night, and all the wine drinkers loved it, said it was really really good wine.  So there ya go!

Mandy and Corey

Went to see there new house last night. It has potential, its plenty big enough for all four of them. They still don't know what to do with the baby if Kaci doesn't move out before the baby comes. The house is only a 4 bedroom. I think Austin would move in with them now, cause he will have his own room. Also the jealousy thing kids have. Corey's 4 year old son will be moving in with them full time starting in June. I really hope Austin does move in with them. He is always alone living with Scott. Talking with them last night about kids really erks me. The way Kaci is , uhg, that girl is going to be bitch slapped when she gets out on her own. She is just ruined there is no other word for her. She thinks she is a princess and that she must have her way no matter what. And Mandy and Scott always give into her. No matter what it cost them just to please her. Okay I must be fixing to start cause I am really bitchy. We are going to go see my nephew race his durby car at the mall today. He won first place so now he races against other first placers. Should be fun. At least we will be out of the house. Don't know what we will do after that. I'm so mad at myself for stressing so much over our anniversary. I just ended up getting him a really gooey card . I figured he would be happier picking out any gun stuff himself. I got nothing . As usual.

Anniversary!

Well today makes 16 years for me and Jeff. I can honestly say the time has flown by. I may get agrevated at him sometimes , but he truely is a gift from God. My life was such a mess before he came into it. Its been a wonderful journey. To have someone you can trust and depend on is just simply wonderful. There are things we need to work on in our marriage, but what healthy couple doesn't. Marriage is constant work. We aren't going to do anything tonight , because he will be tired when he gets home. Tomorrow we will go eat somewhere and probably go see a movie. Nothing big deal . It will be nice to go without Jordan. We rarely do anything without Jordan. I always feel guitly for leaving him home, cause he never does anything. Cole will be off tomorrow so maybe he will hang out with Jordan till we get back. Well Mandy and Corey bought a house. Its for sale by owner, but it got them in. I get to see it today. Its over by the base on Era street (?) She said it needs a little TLC, but what house doesn't , that we can afford. I am happy for them. I just wish I liked Corey. I don't know what she see's in him. He is 30 years old and he is a professional student. He has gone to school for so many different things, but never finished or got a job in that field. He thinks he knows everything . He always has a story 10 times better than the one your trying to tell. He needs to man up and get a job. He is cleaning with Mandy. Which I guess is what Mandy needs. She is a co-dependant. She has to have her man with her 24/7 . Thats why I think her and Scott started having problems. He started taking jobs that she couldn't do. As long as she has her man by her side at all times she is happy. I would go insane. I like having my time away from Jeff. I get to miss him. Sorry I shouldn't have said all that. Its her life and I'm happy she's happy.

Ugh!!

Again I wasn't able to go back to sleep when Jeff left at 4:30 this morning. I did finially fall back to sleep close to 7 . Which I hate cause then I slept till 9. Now I feel like I have been beat. Coffee please kick in soon. I had the most unusual dream. I dreamed I cheated on Jeff. It was just a kiss , but still I have never dreamed of me cheating its always been him cheating on me. So whats up with that. The guy in my dream was totally hot too. Maybe I have some sexual tension that needs to be taken care of...Jeff won't be home tonight so maybe I will sleep through the night. Tomorrow is our anniversary I thought about maybe buying a sexy night gown, but I'm just still so fat I don't think I could wear it in front of him. I would look stupid instead of sexy.. So I am still undecided what to do. I am going to get out and about today, maybe something will come to me.. Zumba was really good last night I am so sore. Today is yoga, I have now been doing it for 3 weeks. While I was a wake this morning I saw another infomertial on Hip Hop Abs, it looks like a lot of fun.

Up way to Fricken Early...

Well for some unGodly reason I am up. Jeff left at 4:30 and I couldn't fall back to sleep. I'm sure it will catch up to me later. My mind is racing with all kinds of thoughts. Thoughts that I really shouldn't be having. No not what you think. Our anniversary is Friday and I want to get Jeff something, but really don't know what to get him. He is really into his gun's , but I know nothing about his gun's. Not to mention its a very expensive hobby. Don't want to get him a gift card because thats just not personel enough for your anniversary. Should I get him the old stand by. My favorite cologne? We usually buy something for the house as our anniversary gift. This year we are getting a new blue ray player cause ours is out of date and no longer plays new blue rays. I just wanted to get him something small for now. Such hard call. Also on my mind is the fact that Temple wants to get together and hang out. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I have some mixed emotions. There's alot of he said she said going on and I really want to stay out of it. Not to mention all the drama in her life right now.

Just lovely ..

Nothing..

Yesterday was pretty blahh.. Just did my exercising and read the rest of the day. I am getting better at balancing in yoga. So at least I am making some progress there. Didn't sleep very good. Kept having bad dreams, but can't remember them now. Its always like that on the first night Jeff isn't home. He MIGHT get to come home tonight. If he does it will be pretty late. Our anniversary is Friday , it will be 16 years for us. Man where did the time go. We have no plans to do anything. Tonight is Zumba, yea!! I get to see other women...