Just don't got it!

Instead of losing weight this month I gained it.. I now weigh more than I have in two years..Its like all my will power has gone out the window and I can't stop eating junk.. I haven't exercised much this month either.. So today I am going to try try again to begin my diet and exercise and log on to my calorie app..This extra weight really makes me feel yuky so maybe I will be able to get it off..

Nothing else going on. Jeff has begun another project.. I think I will like this one though.. I just wished he finished the others before starting this one.. He is planting a garden now.. Which I'm actually excited about.. I love fresh veggies..I have never had a garden.. In the past we have had tomatoe plants, but they never really produce alot.. This won't be a large garden just tomatoe, squash, cucumbers, peppers, and onions.. I  don't care much for the peppers and onions, but Jeff uses them to cook with..

Well thats all I got.. Hope everyone is doing well..

lazy bday

My bday was spent being lazy on the couch.. I didn't cook, clean, or exercise.. Cole bought me chinease take out and I just did nothing all day long... It was great!!! I think my best part of the day was when Jordan woke up and gave me hug and told me Happy Birthday..Cole was up for about an hour and then saw it on facebook.and said ' hey happy birthday, how old are you 35'   yep I called him a suck ass!!!  He said 'no really you don't look 42' If anyone asks I'm telling them I'm 37.. 42 sounds old..Jeff got me a really sweet card.. All in all it was a good day..

Cole had an eye doctors appointment and his right eye is good.. Completly healed he is going to have to have surgery on his left eye again on Feb. 26th.. The doctor said he has built up fibers and protien on the front of his eye and if its not removed it will get worse and he will lose his sight in that eye.. This is caused from his first surgery...This shouldn't have happened but it did.. All his blood work has come back negative and the doctors are confused as to what caused this to begin with..

I wanted to clear up some things from my last venting episode.. Jeff and I are fine we worked things out that same night.. We both know we need to do some things different..

Well its time to get off here and pay bills..YUK!!!

What a let down

Jeff was off Monday and Tuesday and had a dentist appointment on Monday morning.. We get over there and they do an exray and tell him either a root canal or pull it. He tells them to just pull it.. They tell him oh we don't do that here you have to go over to this other doctor to do that... $85 later and I'm pissed , because I asked when I made the appointment if they could pull the toothe , cause I know thats what may have to be done.. and she told me yes... I hate fricken liars...If Jeff and I hadn't had the biggest fight of our marriage the night before , (another story) I probably would have told that lady off and not paid the dam bill.. So anyway they sent us over to another dentist on Tuesday.. They have the exray from the other dentist , were thinking its going to get pulled.. NOPE just a consaltation $55 , come back Feb. 6 and they will pull it for $700.. They gave Jeff the choice of being put under or the numbing shots, and he chose put under thats why it cost so much.. Once we got home I asked him to call the dentist to see how much it would cost with the numbing shots and he did.. It would be $340.. Still to high I think just pull a dam tooth.. He decided to talk to some of his truck driving pals and my mom and they all told him dentist stories and said the numbing shots work, hurts but works and they have never paid that much to have tooth pulled... So today he asked me to call Dr. Reel's office which is the dentist I used to take Jordan to and see what they charge and tell them we already have an exray of the tooth, if we can get it.. I would think we could we did pay $85 for it..

Jeff and I had a huge fight Sunday night... He said I don't treat him like I used to, I told him the same.. What he was getting at is that I'm not all lovy dovy towards him like I was a few years back..I told him I love him as much as he loves on me.. It just escalated from there.. He was in my face yelling , and I kept stepping back .. Whats really bad is the whole time he was yelling at me all I could think about is how bad his breath stunk.. The bad tooth has made his breath really bad..I know thats terrible , but its true.. I've even told him , in a nice way about his breath..
We are at a stand off on our fight.. Both of us don't see that we are in the wrong..Were going to work on it together though..I do love him very much , but at times I just don't like him..

I have not dieted or exercised in 4 days.. I will begin again today.. Jeff has finially noticed he has gained a lot of weight and decided to lose also.. We'll see how long that last..

Well thats about it.. Hope everyone is doing good..

must be pms

UGH!!!   I need to vent , so if you don't want to hear don't read this..

My husband is driving me nuts with all his dooms day stuff..and since I don't believe what he does , he is constantly telling me I wish you would do this ... or I wish you liked this... or I wish you wanted to move to Alaska or I wish you baked more or I wish you liked to garden or I wish you cleaned house like you used to.. Oh and the big one is I wish you would stop mothering me.. yes he said I mother him.. So I'm thinking that the next time he tells me that I mother him I'm going to stop doing his laundry,stop waking him up for work, stop making his lunch, stop fixing his plate, stop making doctor appointments for him.. That last one really pisses me off.. He was off all day Monday with a tooth ache I told him he should call a dentist.. You know what he does... he waits till after 5 to tell me to call on Tuesday to find him a detist, but yet he wants me to stop mothering him... UGH!!!!!   He is really on a role to let me tell you about his next request from me... He wants to buy the natural ingredints like lye, and borwax and some ohter shit to make our own laundry soap and dishwashing soap and bath soap.. he said it would save us a lot of money.. I looked at him like he was a crazy man and just said NO!!!   He said o well I guess you don't want to save money then... I save him money everyday.. I don't go out shopping, lights or the tv are hardly on unless he's home.. I never go anywhere so I don't spend gas... That was another of his I wish you were more like....I talked to my mom yesterday about it, because it really is starting to hurt my feelings.. I mean I have low self esteem as it is and for him to not be pleased with who I am and to wish I was someone else hurts.. She told me to throw it back in his face.. Start telling him all the things I wish about him.. So I think I will..Oh and the house cleaning really is only his clutter fuck of a room that I don't clean.. He has all this shit in the computer room.. He is a pack rat so no I don't clean the computer room, hell I try not to stay in here for very long.. I really wish I had my own laptop then I would never have to come in this room..

Okay I'm done..

I've done okay on my diet and exercise and have lost one more pound.. looks like I'm just losing a pound a week.. hopefully when my thyroid pills get here it will boost up by another pound..
My  fitness app stuff is ddhayes30 and my email is ddhayes30@gmail.com

hope everyone has a great day..
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Last night

Of course plans never go as you want them to.. We didn't get to meet up with my mom till 9:30.. By the time she got the dog and we went into the restraunt to visit a bit it was 11 before we headed home.. We did have a nice short visit.. The dog is really sweet.. She never made one sound the entire time we had her.. or when we gave her to my mom with all the other dogs barking at her, she kept quiet..Poor thing she is so sad.. Her original owner died , then the husband couldn't take care of her so she was shoveled to the grandparents house for a week, then with us on the drive to meet mom.. At least now she will be loved and never alone.. My mom spoils her dogs worse than I spoil mine..

On the way home Jeff didn't flash off his brights to one car.. he didn't mean to not do it , it just was an honest mistake, of not realizing it until too late.. well that car was a cop and pulled us over.. The cop was real nice and didn't give us a ticket, but man thats pretty bad to pull someone over for that..

My Birthday is coming up and I still haven't decided if want to get my nose pierced or not.. Part of me really wants to , but then part of me thinks I'm too old.. Its sad really cause I don't feel as old as I am.. I wonder if I look as old as I am..

Well thats all I got.. hope everyone has a great day..

just the same

Not much has been going on here.. Jeff has been home for the past 4 days and then his schedule days off are sunday and monday.. the trucks trailer has been in the shop and they didn't have an extra one for him to use.. so no work for him..

My mom is getting another dog and we are meeting her to take it to her.. She wants to breed it with her male.. this means she will have 5 winnie dogs on the truck with her.. crazy I say crazy woman!!!!
We are suppose to meet her in Sweetwater tonight around 7.. If and thats a big IF  the plans work out I will call you Laura and maybe we could swing by for a bit to say hi...

I have exercised 4 times this week and done okay on my diet.. as of Wednesday I had lost 1 pound.. I have been out of my pills and ordered them yesterday so hopefully getting back on my thyroid pills will kick my metabolizim back into gear..

Well thats all I got.. Hope everyone has a great day..

great weekend

We had a really good weekend..Jeff has been really sweet to me.. He had a bad dream about me cheating on him and it must have done something to him, because he kept telling me how pretty I was and always loving on me..I hope he keeps it up..

We went and saw The Hobbit and  it was good.. Can't wait for the next one to come out..

I bought my new Rob movie.. I haven't got to watch it yet, but maybe today..

I failed last week to keep up with my diet and exercise, but I'm going for it again today..I hate being so weak when it comes to sweets..

Well thats all I got.. Hope everyone is doing well..

New Year

I'm old... I couldn't even stay awake until midnight... Cole went out with friends , Jeff was snoring, Jordan was playing xbox and I was watching the time square count down, and just got to sleepy so I said to heck with it and went to bed around 11.. Cole still not home, he must of had a good time last night..
Cole is facebook friends with his step-sister and yesterday she posted a picture of her and Doug.. OMG!!!!   I am so glad I'm not still married to that man.. He was never goodlooking to me , he got me by being very charming.. Hey I was 15 give me a break.. Anyway back to the picture.. He looks like a dirty old man.. I didn't recognize him.. Go see for yourself.. Cole's facebook , her name is Saria Hasty. He is one creepy looking man!!
I really hope this New Year is better than last year.. I really want us to leave this house more.. I really want me and my husband to like each other like we used to.. I really want to lose 20 pounds.. I really want to like my body.. I really want Cole's eyes to be healed.. I really want to know what caused his eyes to bleed..I really want to move somewhere fun...
Yep thats a long list of wants..
Hope everyone has an awesome New Year!!!