something to do

I'm looking forward to this weekend.. It will be fun to hang out with everyone..

Nothing has been going on this week... Jeff was off Tues. and Wed. we just hung out around the house.. He has decided that he would like for us to start camping again.. He even bought fishing line to string his fishing poles so they will be ready.. We haven't camped in probably 10 years..I love to camp that was the one thing we did every summer as a kid was going camping.. We had a boat and everything you needed to spend the weekend at the lake.. When Jeff and I got married we only camped a few times he was not a fan of camping.. So I'm a little surprised by the fact that our sons are almost grown and now he wants to camp, but hey I will take it...

Still haven't exercised , but have eaten really healthy.. It helps to have veggies and fruit in the house.. I have been weighing every morning again to keep on track..

Hope everyone has a great day.. See yall Saturday

Better today

I'm in a much better mood today..You know how it is sometimes you just need to vent..I think it was more about him telling me NO then anything.. I wouldn't have went once I came down off my high of thinking about going.. Cole has all his medical stuff coming up this month and I want to be with him..
I didn't exercise like I said I was yesterday I'm going to try today.. I have been eating more but its fruit and veggies.. since last friday I have lost 2 pounds so thats only been 4 days so I'm pleased with that.. I know I need to exercise I know it would help my funk that I'm in. I need to get with it.. I really hope Jeff gets to start at GoPetro soon.. I know I would exercise again if he was at work during the day.. Its the whole not being able to shower after I exercise that makes me not want to do it.. Well not the whole reason , but a big one..I hate sitting in sweaty clothes for hours. and I refuse to shower in the boys bathroom..I would have to move all my stuff, plus gather up clothes to wear after my shower , plus the ones I work out in.. Just a pain .. yes I know its an excuse.. see I'm in a funk..

My baby brother turns 30 on Friday, We were going to go to his house and bbq , but since Jeff is now working a different job we can't go.. bummer.

Okay getting off now. Hope everyone has a great day.

My favorite Aunt & Uncle

Yesterday we went to my cousins house warming BBQ and there I was told that my aunt and uncle ( Cindy & Pete) were moving back to Washington.. They just confirmed the move on Friday. They have been back and forth from Washington to Texas for over 25 years.. If you recall I had there daughter Lacey living with us her freshman year until they got back down here to Texas.. So they have only been back here for 3 years this time.. Lacey will be a senior this year and at first when they were talking about going back to Washington , Lacey was going to stay here and finish school.. Now she has decided to move with them..I am happy for them to move, they loved up in Washington and they have two more daughters and 5 small grandkids that live there so they miss them very much.. We also have more family up there.  so its home to them there as much as it is here in Texas. I am happy for them because I know how much they love it in Washington and want to be with there other children and grandchildren, but I'm also very sad to see them leave..I am very very close to Cindy, she is one of my best friends. I don't talk on the phone much as you all know , but my mom, Jeff, and Cindy and my other cousin Peter are the only ones that call me all the time.. My mom calls me every single day, Jeff calls me from work sometimes and Peter calls me about twice a week , Cindy calls me at least once a week and we used to do lunch about twice a month.. She is also the one that always invites us to all the family get togethers. My dad always forgets and my aunt Jane calls sometimes, but mostly it was always Cindy to let me know and invite us..
She asked me yesterday if I would like to ride up with them to Washington and stay a bit and then fly back home.. Of course it would  be Jordan and I.. which I would absolutely love.. Jordan doesn't remember us living there he was only two.. Jordan was all for it as well.. You should have seen his face light up.. When I talked to Jeff about last night on the phone he told me NO!!!   He said we would just have to save our money and go on vacation to see them.. I understand that he was jealous because he has to work and couldn't go with us, but it hurt my feelings that he just said NO and not even try to discuss the possibility. I know I'm pmsing so it probably isn't that big a deal, but it just went all through me that he has this much power over me.. I'm really starting to second guess our marriage.. He gets mad at me because I don't leave the house and do anything, but when I asked to go to Washington he out right says NO..He didn't mind me going to Vegas why Wahington?  Maybe thats it I have already done something fun this year without him and he is too jealous of the fact that I want to do something else.. I think I need to start looking for a job. I know I said I was going to wait until Jordan turned 16 and was able to work and we are working towards his GED so he would be done with school, but  I don't like being told NO the way he told me.. It was like  I was his child not his wife.. Again I'm probly pmsing . I'm just hurt..Jordan and I sit in this house day in and day out never going anywhere, it would have been nice to go.. Again I do understand Jeff makes the money and he works hard for it so I know he was jealous of us going and not him. He just should have said that and not got manly and say NO.
Okay sorry for my rant.. Hope everyone has a great day..

The weekend

So last night Jordan and I went and saw Men in Black 3.. It was so good.. I laughed so much , it felt so good to laugh that hard.. It was just as good as all the others.. Next Friday we are going to go see Snow White and the Huntsman.. I can't wait.. There is so many movies out or about to come out that I can't wait to see.. A couple are already on DVD .. I want to see the Vow and the one with Daniel Ratcliff where he is in some haunted house. I can't think of the name of it.. I don't usually watch scary movies , but that one caught my eye and I want to watch it. Problem is I won't watch it by myself.
After the movies we went to Wal Mart it wasn't to crazy in there for a Friday night. Must be a lot of Graduations going on. Today I will go to Sam's and get meat. Tomorrow we are going to my cousins house for a house warming BBQ. This is her first home so that will be nice to go and visit the family. Jeff has to work so it will just be me and the boys.
I bought veggies and fruit and I intend to use them.. Monday I will begin my workout's again.. I just get so bored of doing the same thing. Jeff agreed that once he changes jobs again and things get back to normal if we want we can join the YMCA.. I'm 50/50 on this.. I still haven't downloaded that app yet. I don't know why I haven't exactley.. Maybe I will soon... But when I do I will let you all know. Maybe its the accountability you all talk about and I'm just scared of failier. Today I plan on making me a 2 egg omlet with mushrooms,onion, and spiniach.. Yum!!   Then I will eat a cup of strawberries for snack. For lupper(lunch/dinner)  I plan on making me a chef salad with fat free dressing. Then for snack a pear .. We will see how that goes..That will be more food then I normally eat during the day, but its all good for you so hopefully it will kick start my metobilism..
Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Good News

Cole good news on Monday and Tuesday.. Monday the doctor told him his eye's were looking good and scheduled Right eye laser on June the 5th. Sorry Laura I told you the 4th..He also told Cole not to wear contacts after everything is done unless its just for a short period of time , no more sleeping in them.. Cole did not like that he hates wearing glasses.. That fact really cracks me up since it took me till his sophmore year to convince him to wear contacts. On Tuesday his blood work came back and his sugar level was normal, so they want to run two more blood test on him. One is a prediabetes test and the other is a hemoglobin test.. On June the 11th.. I still need to google hemoglobin cause I have no idea what that is..I asked Cole why they just didn't do it yesterday and he said they had to send off for the test stuff.. So yep I'm clueless why that is..Anyway his first lab work showed that he does not have diabetes.. So I'm pleased with that.. So if he doesn't have diabetes then what caused his eyes to do what they are doing , I have a theory on that let me explain.. When Cole first started at Thorps he never wore safety glasses. He would come home at night and his eyes would be blood shot from all the dirt and wind, but he would not take out his contacts.. We would hound him and hound him about taking out his contacts.. Sometimes he would go a whole month without taking them out.. He used to have problems putting them in that is why he didn't like taking them out..  months after he started working is when he started seeing things in his eyes.. We told him we thought it was the dirt that scratched eyes, that he needed to wear safety glasses and for God sakes take out his contacts and go see an eye doctor.. Well being the procrasternator that he is he didn't listen to us.. Well after what the doctor told him on Monday how contacts are really bad for your eyes because they don't let your eyes breathe and the fact that now his eyes were growing new blood vessels because the others were bleeding I think Cole damaged his own eyes by not being responsible with his contacts.. And as for the other two symptoms that Cole has that can be explained too.. He said he is always hungry and that he pee's alot.. Well for one he is a 19 year old boy working outside hard labor of course he is hungry.. For the peeing a lot well working outside makes you thirsty so you drink more.. Hell I sit at home and I pee every hour or so just from the water I drink.. Its just with his blood work coming back normal I'm believing that Cole is a healthy 19 yro boy.. His eyes are on there way to getting fixed and he has learned his lesson about his contacts. So in the future this won't happen again..Thank you God !!

Now moving on. I'm in a funk I haven't exercised at all this week and boy can I tell.. I really hate Jeff's hours. I can't wait till he goes to GoPetro so he will be up and out during the day..
He really hurt my feelings yesterday and I want to blog about it so bad but I'm really embarrased so I will just keep it all bottled up inside for now and explode later...Haa

Is that app really helping you guys stay on track?  I am so frustrated with my weight I'm thinking about checking into Weight Watchers.. My cousin's wife is doing the program and she is losing. I want to talk to her first and see if maybe she can just give me all the pointers without me actually joining , but I don't know how that works.. I also need to go buy salad stuff I haven't had a good salad in forever..

Hope everyone has a great day..

I sometimes forget

Its funny how I get so comfortable with the stuff I post on the internet that I forget strangers can access my sites. Like for instance the random comment I get from someone that I don't know, or like this morning on instagram someone liked a picture that I have no clue who she is.. I thought instagram was private amongst who was follow you, but then again I put a lot of my instagram photos on twitter, but it still makes me go hmm when someone I don't follow or is following me comments on those twitter things as well.. Its no big deal, I actually like it . Knowing that random strangers take the time to like or comment on something I have posted makes me feel less invisiable..

Well I did something that I'm not happy about, I weighed myself and I'm just sick.. I haven't weighed in a while so I was really hoping that the scale would be kind.. Nope I still weigh the same.. I only ate carbs once this week and drank 3 beers once this week and it still didn't make a differnce.. I will be checking out that app that Laura and Tia are using.. What is it again?  What really makes me mad is how my body can weigh within a 5 pound see/saw for over a year.. I am so ready to break past this.. I just don't know how.. I thought I could do it on my own , but obviously from weighing the same for over a year I'm not doing something right..I need yall's help, please give me some pointers on what to do..

Cole's eye has finialy cleared up enough he can see out of it.. So the shots and the eye drops seem to be stopping the bleeding.. I really hope he doesn't have diabetes, but the doctor didn't tell him what else could have caused this problem. He is so confident that Cole has diabetes.. Cole thinks so too, by some of the other symptoms he has.. If he does have it , I sure hope they give us a list of foods he is to stay away from, cause I have no clue.. All anyone tells me is no pasta or sugar or bread, but I'm gonna need more info than that.. I told Cole I will get a cook book and we will make it as easy for him as possible.. He is like his momma he loves sweats.. He was telling me what he ate during the day at work and I was blown away.. As much junk and candy and sweats he eats he should weigh a ton..I had no clue the amount of shit he was eating..

Hope everyone has a great day..Thanks for all your support with Cole. Love you guys!!

Got nothing to say today.. Hope eveyone has a great weekend.

Cole

Well we have some things going on with Cole that really surprised us..Please pray for him.. He went in yesterday to have his vision checked because he keeps seeing green squiggly things in his eye. He just thought they were eye flutters. Well the eye doctor said nope there not and imediately sent him to a Retna specialist.. They ran all kinds of test on him and found out that his vessels in his eyes are bleeding. So they gave him two shots in his left eye because he can hardly see out of it. And gave him these drops he has to use 4x a day for 4 days. Then he will go in today to get tested for diabetes because they said thats what causes the eyes to bleed. Plus un-benost to me he has other symptoms of diabetes. Then on Monday he goes back to the specialist to make sure he didn't get an eye infection from the shots in his eye. then they will schedule laser eye surgery on right eye. then when thats healed they will do the left eye. Not what we were expecting.. and since my son is a procrasternator he let it go for so long that he could have had his retna detached from his eye.. Also bad news is the little shit never filled out his insurance papers at work because he was still on ours.. Well now that Jeff isn't with Multi-Chem we have no insurance.. Yesterday's fees were already at $975.. They are telling him to go to the Medicade office today and apply, but I don't see him getting help from them since he still leaves at home. At first Dr. Angle told Cole to go to Shannon ER today at 5 cause he will be on call there, and he will do the diabetes test and that way he can set up payment plan at Shannon, but also that $975 was to enclude the diabetes test. Now this morning the lady called and suggested he go into La Esperanza , but when he called they can't get him in till the first of June.. So I guess he will go to Medicade and then go to Shannon at 5..

I had carbs yesterday we went and ate Mexican food for Jeffs bday.. I will do better today

What is wrong with me

Okay I'm really confused, before I started this diet of no carbs. I would have a meal between 1-3 then somewhere between 6-7 I would have a bowl of cereal or just a glass of chocolate milk and a fiber brownie.. And that would be it for the day and I was good.. Now that my head has told my stomach no carbs it thinks its starving and wanting to eat every two hours.. It is even growling at me..I'm going to still give it time. I do need to buy raw veggies though , that way when my stomach growls at me I can feed it something quick..
I keep having this wonderful dreams where I am a hot slim sexy woman and my husband can't keep his hands off me.. Then I wake up :(

Hope everyone has a good day.

First day :(

I did really well on my eating until 6pm.. Then I caved.. I'm just weak around sweats.. I had a bowl of beans with cheese, then I had 1 cup strawberries and 1 banana with lowfat whipped cream.. Then at 6 I caved for a piece of chocolate bday cake.. The good news is all the cake is now gone.. Hopefully today I will not cave.. I'm making spaghetti for lupper(lunch,dinner)  so I will just spoon me out some meat and then it some green beans.. I don't like spaghetti very much so I won't be tempted to eat it..I think I will make me an omlet this morning too. With that and lupper plus fruit I should be able to stick to the diet today..
Well thats it not much else going on here..Oh, Jeff is to turn in his application for GoPetro on Thursday, then they will do the background on him, once that comes back he can give his two week notice at Chalk Mtn. So it looks like the first of June he will go to work at GoPetro..

good weekend

We had a really nice weekend. We started out trying to go to Outback for Jordan's bday dinner , but the wait was an hour so we just ran over to Logans. My dad and step-mom, Lawrence, Rondi &kids, Pete and Cindy joined us. Its was good.. I ate way to much and had two margaritas.. yum! Then we came home and gave Jordan his gifts. Cole gave him a paint ball gun.. They have been going every now and then.. I think its great for them to do some brotherly bonding outside of the xbox.. And then we gave him a PS3.. He has been wanting one for a while. I don't get it I mean he already has an xbox, but Jeff wanted him to have it so he got it.. He was really surprised about it, he didn't know he was getting one.. The look on his face was the best.. Since I didn't have the stuff to make his cake on Saturday I made it on Sunday.. It turned out okay. I wanted to use the round cake pans and I should have used two cake mixes instead of one.. Then my home made icing was still to warm when I put on the cake so it ran off, but I just kept spooning it back on, and as it cooled it stayed put.. The cake was very good, I just wished it would have turned out better..
Today I start my no carbs diet.. I'm really going to try to just eat meat , veggies , fruit, and dairy.. I feel really bloated from all the food I ate over the weekend...
Jeff acctepted the job at GoPetro, so now we just have to wait on Wess to get the ball rolling for Jeff . Hopefully it will happen fast. I really hate the hours he is working right now.
For Mothers Day Cole got me my favorite bath and lotion stuff from Bath & Body..Very lazy day after I made the cake and corn bread for the beans and cleaned up everything..
Hope everyone has a great day.

Jordan's Bday

Well the day has come, my baby is 15.. OUCH!!!  makes me feel really old. Good thing he doesn't act like a 15 yro .. Haa  We are going out to eat tonight and then going to buy him his gift. It looks like most of my side of the family will be there tonight , but he didn't invite any of Jeff's side. Even at 15 he knows when he is forgoten..He talks to Austin all the time through xbox , so he knows that Vonda is over there, but never comes here..
I have to go to the store today and buy food again.. YUK!!  I hate going to the store and spending all that money.. I think I'm going to try no carbs diet again..We will see. I love pizza
Jeff got an email from his old boss Wess from Town and Country yesterday showing what the pay is like for the other drivers and really begging him to come to work.. It was a really nice email. Made Jeff feel good.. We talked it over and we feel like this is from God, because Jeff didn't look for this job the man came to him..The job was good when he had it before, the only reason he went to Multi-Chem was for weekends off the pay was the same.. So Jeff is going to take the job.. He left Wess a message yesterday to call him, but Wess hasn't yet.. So as soon as they work out all the paper work Jeff will be going back to T&C well its called GoPetro now.. Wess is even giving Jeff shift choice and we choose 3am -3pm ..
Hope everyone has a geat weekend

Yesssss!!

I'm sooo relieved, Jeff's first full paycheck was $50 more than what he brought home from Multi-Chem.. Which works out good since its Jordan bday tomorrow.. Hopefully all his paychecks will be around the same amount. Thats the one thing I hate about hourly pay you never know what your getting..
Jeff got another job offer yesterday, his old boss from Town and Country which is Stripes now called and asked him if he would like to come back. They are getting another truck for here and would love to have him. Its been 5 and half years since he worked for them, but apparently its the same work week and pay scale. 6 on 2 off  , pay by the load, 3-3 shift thats am to pm one month and then pm to am the next, unless you and your partner work it out where you stay on the same shift. Jeff always worked the 3pm to 3am shift. His partner liked going in early so it worked for them to stay. plus rotating off am to pm was really hard.. Anyway Jeff told Wess he would like a couple of days to think it over.. It amazes me how word of mouth works amongst the truck drivers..

Okay Laura I told you that I downloaded that app, well I just unistalled it. I'm not ready to weigh myself.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Jordan wants to go to Outback for his dinner on Saturday and he wants me to make him a cake.. O the sacrafices we make for our children.. He knows I hate to cook that encludes baking.. I told him it will be a box cake but I will make the icing if I can find the receipe he wants me to use , other wise its box and instant icing.. I was really hoping he would want Baskin Robbins cake, but at least home made is cheaper..

Strugling

I'm loving all the rain, as long as no bad weather and its slow and easy..Of course I don't have to leave the house so that makes it okay as well..
I have the erge to weigh myself and I'm fighting it. I feel like I have lost , but I know if I get on that scale and it shows that I haven't I will be bumbed. Why do I feel a number defines me? Why can't I ever be happy with the way I look? Sometimes I feel like that is a big reason I never leave the house.. I've been thinking about joining the YMCA . I think it would be good for me and Jordan.. I will have to wait and see how Jeff's paychecks are.. We have no idea what his pay will be from pay day to pay day.. I really hate that..
Jeff's mother is really different towards us. I know I have blogged about how she never comes over or lets us know that she is at Mandy's so we could go over there.. Anyway Jeff was talking to here Tuesday night and she told him that she has been coming over to Mandys during the week to keep Ryan.. She hasn't seen Jordan or Cole since Christmas.. That really pissed Jeff off to know she is always in town , but never comes over.. She wanted to let him know that they are all going to Lowake for Mothers day at 1. Well we won't be going.. for one thing Jeff has to work Sunday night so he will be sleeping until at least 3-4.. Second we hate Lowake, third Jordan's bday is Saturday and we will go out to eat for his bday so we won't be eating out for Mothers Day.. We always just do one dinner for both occasions.. Its just too expensive to feed a family of four at a nice place two days in a row..
What are yalls plans for Mothers Day?
So proud of Cole he only owes $750 on his truck.. He will be paying it off with his Monday paycheck..Speaking of Cole he found this YouTube video of a 6 minute abs workout.. Holy Moly I tried it yesterday.. I could not finish it.. I am going to keep trying it though.. 6 minutes is quick.. I like quick exercise.

Okay moving on to my crush.. His new Movie Bel Ami is out on early release . You can watch it on Suddenlink for $9.99.. It will be at the movies this summer.. I have not watched yet.. I want to really bad, what is stopping me is I have seen so many of the movie clips and read the book that I just want to wait until it comes out to the theaters.. Rob on big screen during a sex scene .. Oh hell yeah!
He will be at the Cannes festival at the end of the month to promote his next movie Cosmopolis. It will be out in theaters this summer also..I have not read that book, but the trailer that hit the web is really hot. It looks like a really good movie.   And really good news for those of us that are Robsessed , he just signed on to do another movie Called Black List.. Its about a military interagator that caught Saddam Hussein.. So that should be really good.. Oh and just in case you didn't know his birthday falls on Mothers Day this year.. Okay I'm done.. Hope everyone has a great day..

More on Sam

Sorry I didn't get to finish my rant yesterday.. Anyway after I talked Cole into cutting all ties with Sam, which really wasn't that hard. She ended up texting him again on Sunday night again telling him how sorry she was for hurting him and that the reason she was able to move on so quickly was because she was already emotionaly detached from him , but she still wanted them to be friends.. Well he told her to fuck off and never contact him again.. I told him to block her phone number , but I don't know if he did or not..
Okay moving on. I can't believe my baby will be 15 on Saturday talk about make you feel OLD!!!
No plans yet it all depends on what Jeff's pay check is on Friday.. The good thing though is Jeff is off Friday and Saturday this week , so we can do something if we have the money..
I have been bad I haven't exercised since Friday.. I had that unwanted visitor and you know how I don't like to exercise with that. So today I'm going to, the visit is over..
I don't really have anything else to say. Hope everyone has a great day.

No more Sam

Sam is officialy cut off from this family.. She broke up with Cole on Easter weekend and all ready has a new boyfriend.. The thing is she met this guy while she was still with Cole and even was texting him here at this house..Her and Cole got into it Saturday at her house because Cole went there to give gifts to her nephews. He is friends with Robert and Krista which are Sam's family.. I told him not to go that it would be too soon to see her, but he said he was going before she came home so he wouldn't see her.. Wrong.. she came home with new boyfriend and loved all over new boyfriend in front of Cole. He left quickly after that.. She sent him a text asking that they be friends that she didn't mean to hurt him.. He came home so upset he let me hold him.. Breaks my heart that she plays with him like this.. I talked him into cutting her out completly no contact at all.. So we all un friended her on facebook.. and I un friended her on all my other stuff..
Got to go , I will finish later..

I did it

Yes I finialy got off my ass and exercised yesterday. Of course I had to wait until Jeff got up to take a shower which really sucked , but hey at least I exercised.. I will attempt to do it again today.. Thats all I got . Yep my life is soooo busy..(NOT)   okay I seriously need to get a life outside my books and out of this house..
Hope everyone has a great day.

In a funk

I have the blahs bad.. I know its just pms, but this shit sucks..
I have been bad and haven't exercised since last Monday.. Thats probably why I'm in a funk..
Jeff is talking about moving again. This company offers a transfer to Mansfield and he wants to do it. I'm on the fence about it. One part of me still wants to live up there , but then the other part is scared to death about the house. It didn't sell the first go around and I'm not so sure about renting it out. Oh and if we owner finiance then we have to deal with all that legal shit.. Not to mention living at my moms for who knows how long since we have NO money saved or moving expenses paid..He has it all planned out . Cole could stay here in the house and pay half of the house pmt. and his bills. We stay at moms and look for a place to rent. With 4 dogs its going to be hard to rent..UGH!! Then after we find us a house then we start moving our stuff into it. Cole can either come with us or move into an apartment and stay here. Then we do something with the house.. Cole really likes the money and the crew he works with. So I don't see him moving with us, but you never know..

Okay enough of that.. I hope everyone has a great day..