Friday, March 18, 2011
So messed up..
I do love my life , I am grateful for what I have. Healthy children, husband that loves me, and works really hard for me. Its just deep down inside I feel like I am lost. I know Christ, he is my Lord and Savior. Its not a religious thing its something else I just can't seem to shake. I'm always on the verge of crying. I yell alot. Sorry , its true . Spending all day with Jordan really gets under my skin. He is still up my ass. I feel really alone. Jeff is no help right now. He works so hard and then doesn't want to do anything on the weekends. My life : exercise,(and I'm still fat) school,tv,computer,drinking. Usually done alone, except the school part. I need a retreet from my life. To just get away and pretend to be someone else. I have always been one to follow all the rules and never do anything wrong. I'm such a prude. I'm 40 and live like I'm 70. I miss getting out and socializing. I miss having fun. I don't even know how to relax and have fun anymore. I have no one to hang out with. My sex life really sucks. I'm fat. I'm 40 :( I am a mess !
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were you like that before they messed with your thyroid?
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, I know just how you feel though...I actually feel tons better after I started working and got out of the house and talk to other people other than the kids and Matt, it really really helped...just a thought.
ReplyDeletehusband and i went through some issues when he turned 40 but he is fine now. things are hard when you don't see each other every day. there were all these issues about pressure and stuff but most of them were in his head. i felt really rejected so i sort of know how you feel.
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