Better some what..

I didn't go to zumba Tues. and then I didn't walk yesterday or go to zumba Wed. So now I got the don't want to exercise blues. I know once I began I will feel better, its just getting the umph to do it. I didn't go to the store yesterday, so today I have to go. I can not put it off.  So here is something weird . Temple and I have started talking just a bit. Maybe once every 2-3 weeks. Mostly texting. Well I was having a really lonely day last week and called her. She didn't answer so I left a voice mail. Two days later she sent me text just saying not avoiding you just very busy call you when I get a chance. Okay fine I can understand that. Then Saturday I ran into Nikki. She is the wife of Art who is Temple's baby daddy. She and Temple are still friends. Yes she knows the truth, but only thinks it happened once while they were all drunk. Thats a lie it happened alot and sobber at motels. Anyway back to Nikki. She told me that Temple was moving out of her apartment and moving in with a girl that lives right across the street from Bill and Temple's house. So strange. Temple tells me how Bill is stalking her and now she is moving across the street from him. Well now Bill calls me Sunday night to see if I can keep the kids Monday. I imediatly make up an excuse. Not doing that again. So I call Temple Monday to find out why Bill needed a babysitter cause normally Temple keeps the kids. Well again she didn't answer. Then on Tues. night she sent me the exact same text that she sent last week. Thats it. Still haven't heard from her. Part of me just wants to quit trying and never call her again. then there's that part of me that loves her and misses her. At least the old her. I don't know this new Temple. Now onto something new. Jeff came home and said that Stripes ( Town & Country) are hiring again and he is thinking about applying. He already talked to the guy doing the hiring and he told Jeff to submitt an app. Jeff has kept it good with all them over there, so if he decides to go for it he would probably get the job. On an upside of him getting the job he would be home every single day. He could make more money. On the downside its commision only so if its a slow week with gas it could be a small check. We lived this way for two years not knowing from week to week what his paycheck was. Also its a 5 on 3 off schedule. Which means no holidays or weekends off  unless it falls on your days off. Also his hours are either 3am to when done , or 3pm till when done. Before when he worked there we liked the 3pm till done shift. Cause with the 3am shift he went to bed at like 7 every night.With Jordan being homeschooled the schedule wouldn't be a problem cause we could always do things on his days off no matter what days they were. We would see Jeff more and he wouldn't be working 70 hours in a week, so he would be less grumpy. Its just the scary thought of those checks that really hold me back. He is on salary now and I like that. When he worked there before his checks ranged from $500-$1200 a week. When its good its great, but when its small its oh shit what we gonna do now! We actually have less bills now so I know I could make it work its just scary..The guys he's been talking to over there said right now its really great. There bringing in $1700 a week.

Still ....

Tia , your right I did it wrong. Thanks for catching that for me. I'm so bloated right now I think I will wait until next week to measure. I don't feel good at all. I don't know what the deal is. I feel very drained, no energy. I ate a bowl of cereal last night for dinner thinking maybe my body needs carbs, but I didn't want to eat anything heavy. Now to top it off I started and am cramping like a mad dog. Thats one thing I miss about being on the pill . I never had cramps. Now just about every other month is bad. Maybe my iron is low. I take a multi vit. everyday plus tons of other vitm. Who knows. Okay enough with that.. Jeff came home last night and hopefully tonight. If I don't feel better I'm not going to Zumba again. Which will suck . We are planning a trip to go visit my mom. I haven't seen her since Christmas. I was really hoping to have lost 5 pounds before we go. Jeff is going to cook for everyone. He really knows his way around a grill. He wants to open up a bbq place someday. I really want to lay out again. I hope the warmth comes back soon. Yuk , just realized I have to go to the store today. Stupid Period...

Don't feel good ..

I don't know whats wrong with me. I was feeling great until our second trip around the KOA. All of a sudden I got so weak and my stomach kinda hurts, but not real bad. More like I have no energy. I came home and had lunch . I ate good thinking that was the problem. I had two 2 oz hamburger patties that I grilled and a plate full of veggies and hummus. But even after I ate I still don't feel right. I drink plenty of water so I know thats not the problem. I'm not going to zumba tonight which I'm feeling guilty about, but I honestly don't think I could handle it. I hope I feel better tomorrow. This afternoon while laying on the couch I was watching The Doctors (love that show) it was a re-run that I hadn't seen. Any ways The cute doc. I don't know his name . Anyway he wrote a book called the flat belly something. He was telling tricks to get a flat belly. But one thing he said was to take your height and convert it into inches then divide by two. That is the size your belly should be. Oh and he measured right around the belly button area. So now I'm stressed cause I need to lose like 6 inches to be normal. UGH!!!

A girlie day..

Sam stayed the weekend with us and she and I pretty much hung out together. I think she really misses her mom and I really miss girl talk. Her mom left them a couple of months ago to go be with her boyfriend.. Now she is back in San Angelo and the boyfriend is suppose to move down here. Sam hasn't gone to see her, and her mom hasn't come to see Sam.. Very sad deal. I really hate it when Mom's don't want to be mom's anymore. Not sure when the divorce is finial.  Its the same thing that Mandy did.. Anyway we had a great day. I about killed her at the KOA, then we came back to the house and she swam with Jordan for a bit. Then we laid out. It was nice to get some sun. Cole bought ribeye's and him and Jeff cooked them. I did really good, I only ate meat and salad. I wanted a baked potatoe , but I only made 4 , so I wouldn't be tempted. I have been having age versus clothes issues and this 17 year old girl made me feel so much better about myself. I know she probably is just sucking up to her boyfriends mom, but I will take it. No not really I feel she really does like me. And I adore her. If they don't get married I will be heart broken. She's on tumblr now too, I'm her only follower so Laura if you feel up to it follow her please. I did something yesterday that I have only done at LA. I told everyone how much I weighed. First I had them guess honestly just to see how they see me. That was really scary, but turned out they see me weighing less than what I really do. So that made me feel good. Jeff didn't play our game. He absolutely refused to guess my weight. I even told him if he guessed high I would not be upset with him, but I am thinking he was thinking keep mouth shut no matter what just in case. The reason I ended up telling them my weight is because I told them I want to lose 20 pounds , maybe more depending on how I feel when I reach 20. They all came un-glued and said that 20 was too much that 10 would be enough. So I wanted to know how much they thought I weighed. Then when they were wrong I had to tell them my weight. Jeff got mad at me when he found out that I was weighing everyday again. Him and Sam said they were going to take my scale away and hide it. Luckly they didn't, cause I weighed this morning and Thank God I'm back down a pound from Saturday. Still not what I was Friday, but I will be .. I feel that once I get to my goal weight it will be easy to maintain, cause I work at all week and then not on weekend. Thats how I have weighed the same weight for two years now.

It was good...

Had a very nice day yesterday. Jeff came and walked/run with us at the KOA. We only did it once, but he even ran. Then Sam and I went shopping. I was determined to get new clothes. But of course when you have the money and time to shop , you never can find anything. So I got one thing and that was it. I was so dissapointed. I want new clothes damit.......Then she came with me to the grocery store. It was nice having a female around. Jeff cooked chicken on the grill. It was yummy. I only had one Bailey's and coke. So thats good, but I had chips and dip while waiting on the chicken. I was hungry from the shopping. Today Cole might buy us ribeye's to cook on the grill. Not sure though, he might have been kidding. I am about to start so I am having all these food cravings. I'm trying to be good, but it sure is hard.

That was a seriously bad mistake :(

Had a great day with Jordan yesterday. First we went and ate. I was so proud of myself. I ate just a tablespoon of rice , 2 cheese puffs, and 1 and half egg roles. Usually I can eat more of those . They are my favorite. I ate very little chicken and veggies since I ate so many of the other things. I was feeling pretty good. THEN - we went to Target to kill a little time. we were in the check out isle and just out of the blue chocolate craving struck me. So I bought us candy for the movies. So now I am having this battle in my head, you not what I'm talking about. So now I'm very full. After the movies we did a bit of shopping. I want new clothes so bad. Didn't buy anything yet. Did try some things on, but my taste and there size didn't match with my body. We get home and I'm doing okay. I have told myself no food. I have splurged enough. Just watching tv and chatting with Jeff. When the doorbell rings. Its our neighbor(love her) They are doing a community delevery of shhh ( Laura skip this part) pizza. So they give us this homemade very large pizza. It looked so good. I ate 2 slices. Bad Bad Bad girl. I know I'm so weak around food. I really have no control. Well I feel bloated and miserable today. Not to metion the 2 pounds I gained in one day. I know its water retintion from the salt, but that just sucks. I'm going to try really hard to good today. I already am having a battle with myself, cause we will probably cook on the grill.  I am planning on laying out and getting some sun. Which for some reason in my head all those must include beer. Maybe my boredom is turning me into a drunk. Jordan said he wants friends now , so he told me to go to the bar and meet people. Where does this kid get his info.

Fish

I never wanted this huge ass fish aquarim or the responsibity of it.  This is Jeff and Jordan's deal. It just pisses me off to see any kind of animal suffering. this tank is gross. He already had one sucker fish die. this week that I had to get out. Why we don't know. Now the big one , and I do mean big one. he is probably 10 inches long. is acting all crazy. As I sit here he has tried to jump out twice, of course he is hitting the glass lid, but very strange. There is poop and gook floating around in the water. Jeff has no excuse but pure laziness for this tank to look the way it does. I would take a picture , but to turn the light on makes my heart hurt. Okay , Sorry , moving on.. Last night I was bored so I had a couple of drinks, no supper. I was hoping that not eating and drinking instead would keep the scale down. Nope I gained a fricken pound. A whole pound. Crazy.. and today Jordan and I are going to go have our fun day. So he picked chinese food.. which I love. Even if I don't eat the rice the sodium is going to make me swell so much. To be honest I really don't get much rice anyway.. Not a big fan of any kind of rice.. Its the egg roles and the cheese puffs that are my weakness. We are going to go see a movie today too. I don't know if its gonna be Hop or Rango. But one of them. I want to go shopping so bad. I want new summer clothes. All of my stuff doesn't fit , or it looks like shit, or I'm just tired of wearing it..I want to clean out my closet , but I'm afraid I wouldn't have any clothes left to wear.  *****Venting Alert ******            Jeff can be such a prude if it doesn't benefit him.. When I told him that Tia found out that Lamberts was a BBQ place with live music, he just wrinkled his nois and said "well my buddy Mark(which used to be a cop in Austin) said Austin is not a good place to be going out in right now its crazy on 6th street" So I then told him its not on 6th street. And 6th street has always been crazy, thats why people go there. So I guess since he doesn't want to go we won't be going. He gets his way all the time, sometimes when its something I really want and he does this shit it really pisses me off. What I need is a girls weekend!!