new to me

My mom called me yesterday all excited about what she learned about speeding up your metabolizism..Apparently while waiting for there load in California they met two people at a restraunt and got to talking to them. The lady is a nutristinst and was in her mid 40s. My mom said she had a knockout figure. My mom was talking to her about the struggles she has had about losing weight.. My mom is big and almost didn't pass the physical this year because of her blood pressure. The doc told her she must lose weight. So she has been trying really hard, but its hard when your on the road for a living.. This lady told mom the secret to speeding up your metoblism is to take 3T of apple sidar vinegar everyday..So yesterday I started it.. It taste terrible and burns my throat going down, but I'm going to give it a month and see if it made a difference..I know one thing I pee a lot because I drink so much water, but I pee'd double time yesterday.. I know I have been retaining water I can feel in my feet and hands, so maybe the vinigar is flushing out the water too..

I encreased my workout yesterday and burned 1000 calories. I'm going to try to do it again today. I lost 1 pound from yesterday already. I have never lost 1 pound in a day a half pound but never a full pound..

Okay moving on to my obsession.. He starts the Breaking Dawn 2 promotion on the 23rd in Sydney can't wait to see him in a suit!!!

Laura when is this thing with Sydni?  I bet she is excited not only to be doing something like this , but to have one on one with you in the city..

Hope everyone has a great day

I'm weak

Okay so my diet is a bust.. I didn't totaly blow it , but I did eat some pie and mashed potatoes and gravy.. I did workout so maybe that will help..

Thats all I got , nothing new

Hope eveyone has a great day

What am I doing?

I am so so bored with my day to day life.. Not the being at home part, Lord knows I don't want to go to work.. Just the never doing anything part. The only time I leave this house is to the grocery store or to the bank for Cole..The sad thing is I really don't know what to do during the day.. I don't want to go anywhere because I don't want to spend the money on gas or just money in general..I'm trying so hard to keep money in our savings.. Jeff spends like crazy even though he wants me to save..
I really want to go shopping.. I want new boots and new clothes from bra and panties to shirts and jeans.. I don't know why I never go anywhere, but hey I would look good at the grocery store..LOL

Jordan and I are going to my mom's at Thanksgiving, we are going to stay for a week..I'm ready to get out of here..

Jordan told me he doesn't want to move out of Texas and now Jeff is saying he doesn't want to move out of Texas either.. So I guess Washington is out of the question now..I really was looking forward to living by the ocean.. Well Pugent Sound anyway..

I'm really in a funk I'm living like an old lady, but my mind still thinks I'm in my 20's..Maybe I need to try that St. Johns Wart

I started another diet on Monday.. No sweets that arn't low cal and no carbs.. I also uped my workout.. It doesn't matter though my body and my fat won't listen to my plea's to seperate.. I still weigh the same no matter what I do..

Hope eveyone has a great day.

Going to a wedding

Today Jeff's mom is getting biblically married to her boyfriend.. It will be at the garden of Eden in Eden..Its at 11 this morning,

Not much else going on here..

Hope eveyone is doing well.

Nothing new to blog about

Nothing going on here. Jeff got home Monday morning around 8 and was off Tues. and Wed. we had a nice time together. Went out to eat and saw a movie..

I'm going to my mom's at Thanksgiving. Jeff has to work his days off that week are Sunday and Monday so Jordan and I will leave Tuesday morning and stay the rest of the week. Cole has to work too so he will be with Jeff.. If they get off work early or in Cole's case maybe not have to work they can go to my aunt Jane's house. Cole would go , but Jeff said he probably won't. He is too tired when he gets in from work..Anyway when I first asked Jeff if he cared if I went he said he didn't. Tuesday when I told him I figured out his days off and decided to go ahead and go he was not pleased.. His big complaint is what am I going to eat..Ouch.. I told him I will get food that he can microwave and he can always stop and pick him up something on the way home..He didn't like those choices much, but didn't say anything..I'm going to try not to feel guilty about going and back out.. I want to spend time with my mom , I haven't seen her since March..

A mystery hair found its way onto my clean bath towel..It was blond and very long, like from the crook of your elbo to your hand long..I had just put both of us clean towels out, and took a shower when I dried off there was this hair attached to my arm.. I laid it down and got dressed and took into show Jeff.. All I said was I have a puzzle for you, how did this hair get on my towel. I showed him the hair and his words were I'm not cheating on you.. I looked at him and said I didn't accuse you of cheating on me..I had already figured it must have come off of Cole's bath towel in the wash. I wash all our towels together. and some how this hair didn't get washed away.. I just figured he bumped up against a blond at a party or something.. I never thought about Jeff cheating.. Strange how he jumped to that..

Hope eveyone has a great day

Thank You

Thank you Laura and Tia for your helpful comments..

Don't know what to do

We had a pretty good weekend.. Yes I know it was Monday and Tuesday to the normal folk, but when Jeff is off its our weekend no matter what day of the week it is.. He had an early day on Sunday , he got home about 9. so it was like he was off three days..We got along fine until yesterday.. He was really moppy and whiney telling me that he was so in love with me and that he felt that I wasn't in love with him.. It was really strange to see him like this. Okay I'm fixing to tell yall too much info about my sex life so if yall don't want to read it stop now..

We had sex all three days and he only attempted to get me off once..And then last night he tried to get me to give him a blow job.. I didn't do it, so of course he went to bed mad..
I got to thinking about what he said about me not being in love with him and I think I am starting to pull away from him , because I'm starting to see him in a different light..He say's that I have changed and I tell him the same thing.. Yes I have changed and I think its because I am so sexually frustrated. Him not satisfying me has been going on for a couple of years now.. At first I would just tell him to stop trying cause I wasn't going to cum and I felt bad for taking so long.. So now I regret all those years ago that I told him not to try, but I also see that if he really wanted me to cum then he wouldn't have given up on me so fast.. Now when he makes me cum he acts like its a burden , because I have taken forever.. I tried to explain to him that if he would love on me , and give me a little for play instead of just jumping into it maybe I would get turned on.. I'm not turned on and him sighing while I'm trying to relax doesn't turn me on..

Maybe we need to see some one, because I really do love him and want my marriage to work, but I have tried telling him what he is doing isn't working for me.. Thats when he tells me I am doing the same that I have always done.. And no thats not true he used to make love to me and take his time now he just fucks me.. Seriously two minutes and he's done..

I'm sorry to blog about all this personal crap, but I am at a loss. and writing it down helps..I just want more out of our sex life and he doesn't.. He told me so not by words but by his actions. I have talked to him about trying to do other things with me and he told me he doesn't have the energy.

My mom wants me to come and stay a week at Thanksgiving, I told her that it depends on Jeffs days off, but I really would like to go.. I would just feel guilty if he happens to be off around Thanksgiving.. If thats the case we can go together those two days..

Jeff wants me to get a job because he wants a Harley.. Yes I sure feel the love with those words..

Got Jordan started on school on Monday, he is doing two days work Mon-Fri.. That was Jeff's idea to try and get him done with the year faster.. I think its great as long as Jordan doesn't have a hard time. So far the first week is easy..

The stress of my marriage is causing me to have bad dreams.. I hate bad dreams..

Okay thats it.. Hope eveyone is doing well.