no date for me

not one fricken word about our date night.. he has been on the computer all day until now and now he is playing x-box... and I'm not saying one word about it cause I told him all week long lets do something , I NEED a date night with you...So I guess I will poor me a drink and go obsess over my crush...

Sorry for last nights post

Wow, I really shouldn't drink and read my romance books.. I made it sound like Jeff was terrible.. He's not ... Don't get me wrong I still want all that stuff but what girl doesn't ... Right?   Today I will be running all kinds of errands and maybe one to the IRS.. I may wait on that one till Monday depending on how long it takes me to do everything else... I didn't sleep very good last night because of the thunder and lighting.. its been too long .. It really didn't rain very much here at my house, hopefully other areas got lots of rain. Hope everyone has a great weekend.. Laura Happy Anniversary I hope you and Matt get to go out and spend time alone together.. Get a room!!  

drunk so bare with me

The showing of the house went well..I took Brendy's advice and put the dogs on a leash and we hung out in the front yard while the strangers looked at our house.. My anxiety was so much better.. having them see me and my dogs ..and for them to know that I see them.. I think the whole anxiety thing is that I am alone so much that if one of these lookers are bad and they decide to come to my house late at night. Well today having them see my huge dog and two other loud mouths really made me feel better...I am feeling pretty good at the moment though I should have eaten more than two pieces of pizza this afternoon.. hope I won't be sick later...Okay so I'm going to vent a bit if you dont want to  hear it stop reading now............... I am lonely , I truely am... when my husband is home he is on the computer.. don't get me wrong he is a great husband and I love him very much, but I want something from him that he's not giving me.. I feel like all the excitement is gone from our marriage.. I have tried talking to him about it, but it just comes out wrong.. I know we are old now and been together for 16years, but I'm wanting more.. honestly I think the last time he has even kissed me with passion was so long ago I don't even remember..I want that .. I want passion and sex appeal . I want clothes ripping and hot sex... sorry but I like sex (when its good) I want to feel like I'm sexy and beautiful not fat and married...I want to be center of attention, I want to be flurted with and made to blush.. I want to go out with friends and have a great time instead of being in bed by 10 on a saturday night... I'm only 40 not 70.. My kids are older now and I'm ready to start having fun.. all my younger years were used raising my children , now I feel like its my turn to start having fun.. I feel like I'm going to explode. Then the rational me, the mother hen kicks in and I feel so guilty for wanting fun time.. I want to go dancing, its so not fair.. Jeff used to dance with me all the time when I was married to Doug, now he never wants too.. I keep thinking that maybe I should get a job so I would have a life other than whats in this house, but I can't .. not right now.. Even if we do move I still have to wait till Jordan done with school or he has a job...I feel like I'm sufficating, I think thats why I drink so much. Jeff never wants to do anything and I know its because he works 70 hours a week so I don't make a fuss about it, but I need to have some fun...okay I'm done

Very tense

We only had one showing yesterday, but they stayed in my house for 30 minutes.. I was a nervous freak.. litteraly I could not understand what they were doing for 30 minutes in my home.. There were 5 of them altogether all adults, not college kids.. White .. like that makes a difference..I don't know about this , I don't know how much longer I can take of having strangers in my home.. It feels like a violation to me. Like all my personal stuff out for the viewing.. UGH!!!      I have been out of my drink for a week now and just haven't made it out to Sams.. Jordan asked me last night 'mom why haven't you been drinking this week'  Haa I guess he likes me better when I drink even though he teases me about it... Thinking I might go pick up a few groceries at Sams today and pick me up my drink..I am going through some issues with myself right now .. I really need a date night with my husband.. I keep telling him this we will see if it happens this weekend.. It looks like I am going to have to go down to our local IRS cause they haven't called me back yet.. I have got to get this taken care of before the 24th.. I'm gonna go I'm in a grouchy mood.. I just want some attention damit!!!!!

may be a busy day

Brendy called me last night and said she had to turn 4 lookers down yesterday due to the carpets being cleaned.. So I will either be ambushed today or the rest of the week...We will see... I didn't exercise yesterday since I cleaned the carpets and to my surprise I lost one pound as of this morning... Our keurig coffee maker quit on us.. We haven't even had it 6 months I don't think.. Thank God I kept the old coffee maker.. I think Jeff is going to e-mail company this weekend.. maybe we can get a free one..Thats it for now..

carpets

Brendy called and said someone else wants to look at the house tomorrow , so I decided to go ahead and shampoo the carpets.. This was my first time usually Jeff does it.. It was really easy I don't know why I have never done it before.. Anyway they are cleaner now.. Then she called me back and said someone else wants to see the house today at 3:30. I had to turn it down because I want the carpets to be good and dry before people start walking on them. So it looks like two more lookers are on there way to see the house this week.. Hopefully my house doesn't smell like pets now..

my dogs

Brendy my realtor called me this morning and said that she got feed back from one of the 3 people that have seen my house.. She said that they looked at 9 houses yesterday and liked mine the best (thats good) , but that they couldn't get past the pet smell (thats bad)..  That is my biggest issue with the dogs.. I have always had a phobia of the pet smell thats why I clean so much trying to keep it from being too strong.. We clean our carpets alot and we were going to clean them this past weekend , but Jeff had to fix my car, so it didn't get done.. He will be doing it saturday for sure.. Brendy told me she didn't smell a pet smell in my house , but she is also a pet owner.. I have two lysol air freshners in the livingroom, 1 in den, 1 in dinning room, 1 in each of the bathrooms.. I moped before the showing and vacuumed and dusted.. so either these people have an extremly good nose and they don't own pets, or my house stinks and Brendy didn't want to tell me cause she is my cousin...