No zumba..

I am taking a break from zumba. I have been doing it for 5 months and even though they change it up all the time, I'm just bored with it. Maybe I will start back up in May. I haven't done my yoga in a couple of weeks either, bored with it as well. I know I need to do some strength training and ab work, but just bored with all my dvds. So I guess by now you can see that I'm just plan old bored. I haven't lost anymore weight since Tues. haven't gained any , but still I was hoping to at least lose 1 more pound by Fri. I really like the waiste trimmer belt. It helps me to remember to hold in my stomach while I'm walking. It does get pretty wet so that makes me feel like I'm doing something good.I am going to get out and about today. I have to go to the groc. store and I want to go by the movie theater and see if they are selling tickets yet for my movie tomorrow. Mandy went in for her biopsy yesterday and they told her she has the hpv virus and they will get her number results back next week. Doctor told her that if the numbers are low than her body should take care of the hpv virus by itself, but if the numbers are high they will have to wait untill the baby is born to do any treatment.

Not what I had in mind.

Yesterday was a pretty lazy day. I did some laundry, dishes, and decided to lay out again. I like laying out Jordan doesn't bother me. Its kinda like my quiet time. He has been swimming , but these past two days that I have been laying out he hasn't swam. Jeff got home early about 5. I decided not to go to zumba so we could hang out and visit. Stupid me I forgot about his girlfriend (the computer) I should have went to zumba. He got on the computer at 6 and didn't get off till 10. I'm going to zumba tonight, I don't care if he is home. Me and him seem to be going through a rutt. No flurting, no loving , unless you count when he says hey you want to have sex. Usually when I'm getting dressed and he see's me naked. I miss affection. I try to give him affection , but the computer chair is too small for us both to fit. Sorry I'm complaining I will stop. Jeff is going to have a 3 day weekend this weekend, so I hope we can spend some quality time together. He is suppose to cook a brisket for Sunday. Don't know how well its going to turn out since they have the burn ban. He has never cooked a brisket on the propane grill before.

Yea !

I am so happy, I weighed this morning and I am back down. My weekend and period weight is off and I am back at my new lower weight. So maybe since its Tues. I can lose another pound by the Fri. Of course its Easter weekend and Jeff is cooking a brisket for my aunts Easter dinner. Gonna be lots of food. I'm gonna have to be careful. I hate that I love food so much. I finially used my waiste trimmer belt walking yesterday. When I took it off it was gross. All wet. I hung out on the line to air out. Maybe I'm suppose to wear a shirt under it. I will try that today. Don't know if Jordan is going to continue to walk with me. I'm just tired of the whinning. He has gotten to where he complains so much. It is taking us sometimes an extra 20 minutes to do the KOA twice. I don't even break a sweat. Tia thanks for the idea of the dam, I haven't thought about that. I got some sun yesterday it was so nice to lay out. I think I might do it again today.

So many pictures..

I have been glued to the tv and the internet since yesterday's Water for Elephants premier. Yes yall know this I am obsessed with Robert. He looked amazing on the red carpet last night. Then this morning he was on the today show and Regis and Kelly. And on Wed. he will be on Ellen and Jimmy Kimmel. All these pictures are pooring in, and even one video of him and Kristen kissing. Its so cute, that they are finially coming out as a couple. Why she wouldn't be spreading the news is beyond me, if he was my guy I would have told along time ago. Any way I am just filled with all these butterflies seeing all this stuff about him. Jeff will be off Friday because of it being a holiday and we are going to go see the movie. I'm so excited its finially time. Yes I'm a dork! We only did one time around today at the koa, Jordan was not good. I think I might go without him. I know he needs the exercise too , but honestly now that he's walking it, I'm not really get much of a workout. I'm gonna go lay out now and dream that I'm this hot sexy , skinny girl !

Dieting Sucks!

Okay I have been very bad this week. Not feeling good , not exercising, not eating right, period. All of which made me gain 3 pounds. I'm hoping some of its water retintion from the shit I ate yesterday. I feel very swollen so maybe I'm right about the retintion. I am feeling better now so no excuses, back on my diet. It seems like I do this to myself. Everytime I lose a significant amount of weight I sabbatage myself by gaining it back. So I'm going to work really hard these next two weeks and not cheat. I really want to be down a few pounds when I see my mom. I was only hoping for 5 pounds, but now it seems I have to lose what I just gained. Cole came home yesterday after work without Sam. First time since he has been staying out there. We are finially going to get to meet her parents on May 7th.  Sam is really worried about us meeting her mom, cause of all the shit thats been going on. I can't believe that they have been dating for a year now and we are just now meeting her folks. Oh well. No plans today just chilling.

What a way to wake up..

I'm usually up around 8 every morning , but this morning I was woken up by text messages. First off it scared me, cause no one text's me at 8 in the morning. So once I got my barrings I started reading the text. They were coming in faster than I could read them. They were from Nikki looking for Temple. Apparently she didn't show up to get the girls last night from Bill and isn't answering her phone. She is off with some ex-con drugie named Justin. She supposidly is having a mental breakdown and the doctors want to put her in Rivercrest. Bill said she called him from a private number but wouldn't tell him where she is at.  What a mess. If all this is true she is just spirling down a deep hole. She has always been suicidal so thats why Nikki is so worried. Me too now, but what can you do Temple wont let you in to help. Bill and Temple both tell so many lies to make the other one look bad, I'm just hoping this is a lie. Temple has come very close before to killing herself and if she is on drugs she might very well do it. Okay moving on, I'm so ready for a roadtrip. I tried to persuade Jeff this morning , but all he said was have you seen gas prices. And he's right its too high just to go ride around the country . Plus with all these wild fires everywhere it probably isn't safe. I sure hope it rains soon. The fires are pretty scary. Not to mention stinking up the air.

Stupid, Stupid, Period!

Ugh! I have eaten and eaten so much junk I think I might explode. This monthly is bad. I want mexican food so bad. So yesterday Jordan and I go to Rosas I tried to be good I got a nacho salad. I didn't eat all the chips , thats being good right? Then for dinner I had ham and cheese and nuts. I went way over my calorie count for the day. And I still have the mexican food craving. Another thing is I have had at least one Bailey's and coke everyday. I don't know why I just want one. Maybe cause I'm so fricken bored. I am not gonna weigh untill Monday. I hope I can be strong over the weekend. Well Jeff has decided to stay at Multi-Chem. Knowing what you make from week to week and having weekends and holidays off won the battle. Thank God!!! Jordan is doing really good out at the KOA , he is walking the 4 miles now. It takes us longer cause I don't want to get to far in front of him. Today I'm going to let him get way in front of me. I'm wanting to do another lap around, but Jordan doesn't. I really want to lose 5 pounds before I see my mom in two weeks. I guess I need to stop eating crap and drinking then huh? I bought a corset thingy and a waiste trimmer belt for walking yesterday at WalMart. I don't think this corset thing is the right size. And i bought one that is a solid piece so I have to shimmy in it. It was a little tight which I know its suppose to be, but when I went to sit down it kinda rolled in weird ways. I don't know maybe I should have got one with the eye hooks. Any way I'm gonna wear the trimmer belt today when I walk and then after the shower I'm gonna try the corset again. Okay on to some drama; Cole received a letter from the county jail yesterday. It was from some guy named Richard. I'm like huh, the only person we know in jail is Doug. So being the nosey mother that I am I opened it. Yep from Doug. In the letter he tells Cole that this Richard knows him from school and so he has been telling Doug all about Cole from school. Doug also said he was afraid I wouldn't let him have the letter if I knew it was from him thats why it said it was from Richard. Blah Blah... so anyway he proceeds to tell Cole that he is sorry for not being the dad he should have been and reallly hopes that Cole would write him back or come to see him so that they could salvage some kind of relationship. Blah Blah again...Told Cole how he wished he would have had the money to pay, but just doesn't. Thats about it just pure poor Doug shit. So I read the letter to Cole . He is undecided if he wants anything to do with him. I think Cole should call Doyle( he is the only family that has ever had anything to do with Cole) and tell Doyle to tell Doug that action speaks louder than words. When he gets out of jail if he wants to have any kind of relationship with him then call him. I feel this way cause Doug has always pulled on Cole's heart strings everytime he got busted for non child support payments. Then after a few days Doug would disapear again. So if he wants to know Cole he needs to work at it. I haven't told Cole how I feel yet , cause I really wanted to know how he feels about all this. I know he must be angry inside. That whole family has had nothing to do with him in years. And they all know he has his own phone , so they never even had to call me to talk to him. For Cole's sake I really hope he doesn't have anything to do with any of them.. Pieces of shit that just through him away. Even when Doug lived in the same town as us and lived right down the street from us , he never called Cole or came by. If he saw Cole outside he would just wave and keep driving. Who does that to there own flesh and blood. Scum pure Scum!!!