I am retaining water for some reason.. Maybe I have started drinking too much water again and just didn't realize it. Today I will cut back my intake..I'm very proud of myself. Yesterday I ate really healty and exercised and didn't drink.. I wanted too really bad , but every time I went to the bathroom or walked in front of a mirror I would pull my shirt up over my fat belly and squeze it and say to myself look at your fat self you don't need a drink.. It worked I was sad and miserable all night ..HAAA So I weighed this morning all excited to see a few less pounds due to my hard work yesterday and I  almost cried I gained two pounds. WTF !!   So it must be water or maybe sodium from the soy sauce yesterday. So this morning I dug around in my kitchen to find my water pills. Hopefully it won't take long to get the water weight off..I know its water cause I can feel it even in my feet..

Nothing else is going on I live such a boring life.. Of course I would rather have boring over drama..

Oh one thing I'm so glad we didn't buy Adele tickets because she has had to canceal her whole American tour.. That would have been a pain in the ass to get refunds..

I suck

Well yesterday started out great. I walked at the koa, even had a very nutritous and low fat lunch. Then boredom snuck in about 4 and I ate two slices of pizza and some peanut brittle.. Then at 7 I wanted something sweet so I made me 1 drink. Then I wanted something salty so I made me a small plate of cheese nacho's.. Then I was so upset with my weakness I got sad and went to bed..Of course I couldn't sleep so I stayed up and read till about 1... Then what I read really made me want my husband  * wink wink*  which sucked cause he wasn't home..
 I weighed myself this morning and I'm not pleased at all.. So today is a new day I will be stronger with my decisions about what goes into my mouth..

I need to clean house today , but at the moment I don't want to.. I want to go shopping.. I won't though.. I'm getting another child support check this week it was mailed out yesterday.. Yea!! Not much of nothing happening.. I'm hungry , but don't know what I want.. I need more coffee, later..

bad weekend

The weekend really sucked.. I didn't leave the house not one time which is no big deal I often go for days without leaving the house. Jeff cooked again on his homemade smoker. It works really good. He cooked a pork butt. It was his first time and we didn't realize that it would take 12 hours for it to be ready. But now we know. It was really good , we ate it on Sunday and will be eating on it today too. I read most of the weekend and he was on the computer. then Sunday morning the guys went to the gun range. It was nice to have the house all to myself. Jeff wanted me to go , but I really feel its good for the guys to have guy time, they really don't get enough of that. Plus I was still hurt from the rejection from Jeff. I know he loves me I don't know why I let my emotions get the better of me.. We talked about it last night , we will see what happens..  Its really my problem not his and its not fair that keep making him a part of it.. I have started exercising again and it feels good. I didn't drink last night and I'm gonna try not to drink all week since I drank so much last week. Just laundry and cleaning today.

weird

So a very strange thing happened to me today. Jeff left this morning at 4 . I could not go back to sleep so I started reading some fanfiction.. I was up when Cole left at 6:15 I should have just got out of bed then , but I was too comfy.. Well I fell back to sleep because the next thing I knew it was 10:20. Yuk I hate wasting my morning like that.. Well when I got up out of bed I saw a boot impression at the foot of my bed. I stepped over it thinking hmm thats weird cause Jeff and Cole both leave there shoes at the front door outside. So while I was peeing I thought maybe it was Jeff with a different shoe on. I came back and looked at the foot print. yes just one foot print. I just blew off thinking nothing more about it. Well through out the morning I eventually walked on the foot print. When Jeff and Cole got home I asked them about there shoes and neither one of them had been the room with boots on.. So now they both think I imagined the whole thing. I know I didn't. I know I saw a boot print in the carpet. So now I'm a little freaked out cause no one believes me. Also if there really was someone in my room why didn't the dogs bark and why only one boot print?

Okay on a plus side I was really starting to think I have a drinking problem. Well I talked to my mom today about it getting her opinion on the matter. I really like drinking now and she said as long as I wasn't waking up wanting to drink all was good. So whew in the clear!

what to do today

Nothing going on just another quiet day around here. Gonna do some laundry and have to go to the pet store to get dog food. I might go next door to Maurice's and check out some jeans.. I looked at Dillards the other day passing through and mostly all the ones I saw had bling on the pockets.. Like I said I was just passing through so hopefully I can find jeans without the stuff on the pockets. I'm 40 not 20 , I don't think bling on my ass would look right.. Speaking of ass the other day Jeff and I were watching some talk show and it was talking about Spanx and how they have a piece with ass pading.. We both laughed at the time , but I looked that shit up on there web site. I need all the help I can get. I'm tired of having a bruised tale bone from sitting.. Anyway $89 was how much that cost.. Sorry , but I don't think I want an ass that bad..What really makes me so made about Spanx is back in the 80's when I wore boot jeans I used to cut the feet out of my panty hose and where them under my jeans for the smooth firm look.. I still wear them under some of my garmets sometimes.. Now Spanx is making a killing off practically the same thing.

I did exercise yesterday on the eleptical. I then watched one of the exercise video's from Netflix to see if I liked it or not. It looked pretty fun. Some of the steps I used to do in Zumba. So today I might give it a try..

Hell Froze Over!

I received a child support check today.. Hopefully they will keep coming..