pretty good

well yesterday we went to the dallas zoo and it was great. saw lots and lots of animals (duh) . we spent about 4 hours there just to see it all. so for a zoo thats not suppose to be good we thought it was.. Today we are going shopping in dallas with my sister in law Danielle. She's driving so pray for us!! My mom will be home tonight then we have all day with her tomorrow, then we are coming home on friday.. I haven't slept good it has rained every night and the wind wakes me up..I'm a bit homesick, but I think its just cause I'm not surrounded by my stuff. Jordan and I are splitting all of our meals that we have eaten out so that has helped with not over eating, but my mom has cake , ice cream , and candy bars here so that has been a challenge..Monday I will be hitting the meat and veggies only diet and 2 hr. exercise I want to lose 10 pounds before our weekend get away..So far the biggest complaint I have is trying to keep my moms green carpet cleaned from us coming in from outside with the dogs. Yes I brought my girls! well I have got to go get ready were suppose to meet at 10..

My mom's

Well Jordan really wanted to come to my mom's house for the week. So we loaded up and left about 2. Tomorrow my brother is taking us to the Dallas zoo. Yes I have heard the Ft. Worth zoo is better, but we have been there before.  Its kinda creepy being at my moms house with no one here but us , the wind is blowing really hard here . Probably because they live in the country so it just seems hard. I will post tomorrow night to tell you about my day... good night and sweet dreams.. Jordan is sleeping with me tonight cause he is scared .. How strange to have my 14 year old sleeping with me.. oh well he is my baby no matter how old he gets..

Stupid electricity outing..

Such a rough night, I woke up at 2:45 cause the electricity went out. I woke Jeff up cause I was worried we blew a breaker or something.. Our A/C never shuts off.. Well it was the whole block so we knew it wasn't our fault. Trying to go back to sleep was pretty hard. I love the a/c and my fan . Its hot even at 3 in the morning..Finially the electricity came back on at about 3:20. Then at 4 Jeff's alarm went off. After Jeff left I went back to sleep and had a horrible nightmare. I haven't had a bad dream in a very long time and I know why I did. First off while laying waiting for the electric to come back on we were talking about hand guns. Lawrence had a little bitty gun that I actually liked and would like to shoot it. Jeff has been hounding me about getting my conseal handgun liscence since he has his.. Well I'm scared of guns , but this one that lawrence had was small and I thought maybe I could handle it better. So I was asking Jeff all kinds of questions about the gun. Second reason for the nightmare is because of my weightloss. I'm starting to like the way I look so I feel more confident. Well Friday at the grocery store I (for the first time ever) noticed two very cute younger men checking me out. The fear of being noticed has brought up all the bad things from my past... I will not let the fear of being looked at sabatage my weightloss . Not this time!!! Here was my dream;  For some reason I was at someone's house in a small town that I had never been to before. I kinda think I was cleaning this house for this person. Well a man came into the house and started screaming at this lady and told me I had to leave. I was staying the night so I didn't have a car. The man became very violent with his words and the lady told me it would be best for me to go. She paid me what I earned and I left. As I'm walking down a deserted dark street I'm trying to get a signal from my cell phone. Nothing! Then I see a store light up ahead and I'm thinking to myself I will go there and use the phone and call someone to come and get me. Just before I get to the store I see a group of men across the street they start yelling stupid shit and walking towards me. I take off running for the store.. I'm not a fast runner in my dreams so they catch up to me.. At first they were acting like they didn't mean to scare me and were trying to help me.. Then one of them got mean and pushed me down.. I was trying to fight them and get away, but they got me. They took all my money which wasn't much and my phone. I thought they were going to let me go then, but one of them put something on his hand and covered my face. Then I woke up.. Such a stupid dream , like no way in hell would I be at someone's house I don't know without my car or staying the night.. And like where was my husband and my kids.. So stupid, but felt so real..... This week Jordan and I might go to the Abilene zoo or go to my mom's house even though she won't be there till Wednesday.. Jeff had to go to West Virginia so he won't be home till Thursday night . I really want to get away and do something and Jordan is really bored too. If we were to go to Abilene we would have to leave supper early cause the zoo would be so fricken hot..I don't know. I need to exercise really hard this week I ate a lot of junk this past weekend. We made new stuff so I had to eat it. We made white chocolate popcorn (yum) chocolate frozen banana's (yum) and lowfat cupcakes. they were so good and easy to make..You take one box of devils food cake mix and 1 can of 100 percent pure pumpkin and mix the two together . thats it , don't follow the box instructions. Then fill your little muffin pan and poof  a moist chocolate brownie like cupcake in 20 minutes... So yummy and only 180 calories..

Fathers Day dinner

Well we all went out to eat for Fathers Day last night at Cheddars.. Clara was there , but she really didn't talk much.. Cole bought our dinner and my brother ended up buying my dad and Clara's so Score we were out nothing...My dad seemed to really enjoy all of us together, Clara gets so jealous its stupid.. Then later last night we went to the new yogart place and it is amazing.. Even Jeff liked it.. I was on cloud nine cause my skinny sister in law Rondi told me I looked amazing and had very sexy legs.. Yea tonning paying off.. She couldn't believe how skinny I was.. ( I'm not ) , but I guess compared to how I was I do look skinny...I wore my new skirt and I felt very skinny. I know all clothes fit differently and I'm probably not totally in a smaller size, but hey my new skirt says size 6 and it fits thats what counts Right!!!  We finially finished with all the tree limbs , now in a few weeks we will start on the trim for the kitchen ceiling so I can paint... then Jeff said he could take the air vents to the shop at work and sand blast them so I won't have to scrub them then we can spray them with his air paint sprayer... Yea less work for me... All in all a very good weekend.. I did eat way too much junk , but I always do on the weekend..

Hey Now!!

I'm jumping with excitment, I just bought me a new denim skirt and its a size smaller than what I have been wearing !!!!!!!    Oh and I did eat chinese food , a very small plate . I was pleased with myself.. Jordan ate a small plate too..Fighting the desire to go get some Bailey's..

Yea!!

This morning the scale was my friend , I lost two more pounds which puts me 1 pound away from being at my original goal weight.. When I say original I mean way back in July of last year when I began my long weight loss battle...Now that I'm this close I have decided I want to keep going.. I don't really want to set a weight limit for myself cause it took me a year to get where I'm at now.. So I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and when I feel good about myself then I will stop dieting and maintain...I wish I wasn't addicted to food.. Like right now all I can think about is I lost two pounds I want chinese food for lunch, and in my head I'm figuring out okay if I eat a late lunch and no rice then don't eat dinner tonight I might be okay... I'm just like that stupid yogurt commercial where the girl wants the cheese cake and is comptemplating on how to go about eating it.. I have got to find peace with food, maybe my new body and cute clothes will help!! Also I think I may have a Bailey's problem too, I haven't had any in 18 days and I FRICKEN want some!!!!!!   Okay I'm better..( not really) anyway moving on. My brother called me to see if I wanted to go in halves with him to take my dad out to eat Saturday for fathers day.. I'm really having issues with this, I love my dad its my step-mom that I don't want to feed.. Also those two never do anything for us or even call us enless he needs Jeff's help..If were having a big family get together my aunt Cindy calls us not my Dad.. He has never been close to us even when we were small.. My brother really laid into him a few weeks ago about not coming and getting his grandkids, so my dad came and took Hayden to play miniture golf he called to get Jordan , but that was the weekend Jordan was at Austins.  I know I'm wrong for feeling this way , but hey you can't help how you feel.. I'm asking God to help me to change my heart..

UGH!!!

I'm so aggrivated at my stupid period.. I don't know if its these drops messing with it or if its my different exercise.. I started my period on the 6th and I have been bleeding off and on since then. I will go a couple of days then off a couple of days.. The days I'm on my weight is up a pound the days I'm off I'm down a pound. So now my weight is bouncing up and down again... This really sucks!!!! I got the hallway painted and the baseboards scrubbed..Now all we have to do is clean and paint the air vents, put some trim up in the kitchen and clean up all the junk in the back yard.. We still haven't finished hauling off the tree's we cut down two weeks ago.. At least were making progress even if we don't move the house will have all the stuff done that needed to be done 4 years ago!!