Ugh !!

I feel so blahhh. I think I might actually expload. I am about to start, so I have ate everything that is in sight. I feel so hungry. Which is not the norm for me here lately. I have really been in control of my eating, but this weekend its been bad. Today was better. I had a small healthy breakfast, then we all went and walked at the KOA. I was so happy Jeff came too. Then when we got back he grilled some steak and we had healthy sides and wheat tortillas. Mandy took Vonda's truck to her so we didn't have to do that . Which is nice I didn't want to go to Ballinger today. Jeff is off tomorrow, he has to go for his physical. Hope he passes.

Didn't see that coming...

Well yesterday was a great day. Jordan and I got out of the house , did all our running around, and he was so helpful I bought him this air soft gun he's been wanting. All in all a very good day. I got my bailey's and coke sat down to fiddle on the computer waiting for Jeff to come home. Still in a great mood. Decided I wanted weirner world for dinner so called Jeff to see where he was and if that sounded good to him. Cause we haven't had it in probably 2 months. He was on his way home and said yep , sounds good. Still in a great mood. Jeff gets home we watch our recorded survivor and eat. Still in a great mood. Somehow Thursday night Jordan picked up some kind of virus on his laptop. So Jeff was checking it out to see why the anti-virus didn't catch it. I was asking questions. I know nothing about computers. He starts giving me attitude. Look I know he's tired he just worked 70 hours, but whats the deal, I'm just curious. so from then on Not in a good mood. He was rude and distant the rest of the night. When I went to bed I asked him a question about my phone. There are some things I wanted to remove. He picks it up and deletes everything. I freak out. He didn't even say he was sorry. All he said was give me the phone back I will fix it. Well no thank you, I will figure it out. He gets all huffy puffy and gets up out of bed, grabs his pillow and leaves. He slept on the couch ! !!! And since this was the first time in 16 years that , that has happened I laughed at him as he was walking out the bedroom door. Okay I know I shouldn't have laughed, but gee's grow up. Now this morning he is not talking to me. Such a good day to look forward to. Oh and I did figure out my phone all by myself !

I'm not heartless..

Just woke up to hearing about all the devastion that is going on in Japan and now Hawaii. So sad and scary. They are predicting that California is gonna get hit with the tsunami also. I asked Jeff why he didn't tell me when I called him this morning. He just laughed and said you don't care whats going on in the world remember. And thats just not true. I don't watch the news, cause I don't like to hear all the evil thats happening. I know its out there I don't have to watch about it. I also don't care to hear how our government is screwing things up, cause theres nothing I can do to fix it. I pray what more can I do? However devastion brought on by mother nature is no one's fault.   Today I have my usual running to do. So not gonna exercise. I sure am regretting eating that pizza. My hands are so swollen.

Okay I cheated!

What ? you ask, well get your mind out of the gutter. I said I wasn't going to weigh myself untill my favorite pants were falling off me. Well I cheated, I weighed and measured myself yesterday morning. I measured myself first, I haven't measured since 2-7-11. So about a month. I am so fricken excited I have lost a total of 11.5 inches. This is the total for all my body measurments. So when I decided I would weigh I told myself no big deal if no weight loss, I see it in inches. You know trying to syke myself up for the disappointment. So I get on the scales and I have lost 5 pounds. Not much, but I will take it. Maybe this 5 pounds is a sign that I have finially broken through my weightloss platau. Okay on to a funny story. Cole pulled a prank with a couple of his buddies last night. Apparently it went very good. Cole dressed up as Slender Man to scare some other kid. I have never heard of this Slender Man, he is a man dressed in a tux with panty hose on his face. I really wished I would have seen Cole dressed this way. I bet he was creepy looking. The prank went well he scared everyone in the house. Except for the parents. I think they were pre - warned.

Nope, Not Gonna Do It..

Well I have decided to just keep trucking along at my slow , but healthy weightloss on my own without any weightloss product. I talked to my aunt about the stuff and she said it is guarenteed, but it really would work best if I bought the whole package deal thing. Like $230. No thank you. I can think of a lot better ways to spend that kind of money.      So Jeff was sent to Colorodo today, he may not make it back home till Saturday. Its a 42 hour trip. I really hate it when they schedule the long hauls at the end of the week like this. He is off Monday it is time for his yearly check up. All truck drivers have to get a check up twice a year. Jeff has white coat syndrome, so he has to go every year. He takes his blood pressure all the time and it is fine at home, but as soon as he sits down in front of the doctor, it sky rockets. Hopefully this year's check up will go better for him. We have cut out salt in all our cooking.   Went and walked the KOA twice with Jordan and my aunt yesterday. She was sweating , Jordan came home and crashed. I felt fine, didn't even break a sweat. I should have done my regular work out when we got home , but I put a color on my hair insteed. Did go to Zumba though. Man my life is boring. Oh well at least I don't have to deal with drama !!

What should I do?

Well I am having a struggle with what to do. All this time I have been keeping a food journal and keeping my calories low. Exercising like crazy. No diet pills..Well my aunt Cindy sales Herbal Life products and they have come out with a weight loss powder you add to your meal shakes. It is getting great reviews and the best part is its money back guarentee. I am really torn on whether to try it. For one I feel my hormones are finially getting stable and what will this product do to them, but on the other hand if this works and I could get the weight off much faster. Plus , Cindy knows me, she knows I would do it right. So if it doesn't work I can get my money back. Its not cheap either. If I decide to get it, it will be the most expensive weightloss product I have bought. Its like $100. I need to check with her to see how much weight the guarentee covers, cause if I spend $100 I better get my moneys worth. I don't want to lose 5 pounds and that be it. I am going to talk with her about it this morning , we are going to go walk out at the KOA.

Going to Expload..

I am just so upset at Jeff and then I start to feel guitly for being upset at him. Which then makes me mad at myself. Visious cycle. Don't get me wrong I love him very much and I am greatful for all he does for us, but sometimes he is just clueless when it comes to me. He has great qualities I need to just focus on them and not let the other stuff get to me, but I am a woman of course the other stuff gets to me. I think what makes me so angry at him is we have been married for 16 years now, and he still doesn't get it. Okay I will explain. Our anniversary was friday, I got nothing, no flowers , no card, no hand written letter telling me sweet stuff. NOTHING !!!!!  You know what he told me when I gave him his card, I didn't get you anything cause I didn't have time. Oh hell no.. You just spent the night in Kmart parking lot, just drove home past Albertsons.. I don't know why I do this to myself. He has only given me a gift one time and that was last year on my Birthday. But every fricken event I just get my hopes up for nothing. Thinking maybe this time will be different. There's other stuff that I'm going through right now with him, but it would  be to embarrassing to tell. UGH! so frustrated. And I know this is stupid, cause he is a great man, he's dependable, loyal, trustworthy, honest, great provider, great dad. He is a great husband in all other area's, except for two. So thats why I start feeling guilty for being upset. The funny thing is I just blow it off with him, cause I don't want to hurt his feelings. So happy to be getting this off my chest.